crazy as i may make my way through this world...

Six senses feeling, Five around a sense of self.

2009-02-01T12:41:00.010-05:00

I was recently invited by a co-worker, Sarah, to join her bowling with a group of her close friends. I normally don't entertain that kind of invitation because I have a specific group of my own friends at work and that has been quite enough for me. However, since my cubicle moved I have gotten to know another small group of people and have branched out a little bit. I like Sarah and I haven't been "out" in awhile, so I thought it would be good for me. I had fun, but there was some awkwardness and a few slights that have been bothering the heck out of me.

Initially, I was picked with two of her male friends in the front seat of an SUV with Sarah & I in the back. It was quite obvious from the get go that these two guys were in a bro-mance. They had that rare guy-on-guy relationship which is impossible to understand or infiltrate. God help the women who eventually end up with those two, that's all I can say.

But I digress. We went to T.G.I. Friday's for dinner, met by one of Sarah's female friends. She was nice, a little quirky, but all over the place. She reminded me of a friend I had in high school {Katie- who I have seen a couple times after graduation and since then has completely snubbed me}. When we all sat down, I was in the aisle between Sarah and one of the guy friends.

The guy who sat next to me, not by my personal choice but by a sort of musical chair scenario, was not happy with the situation. He immediately positioned his chair as close to the wall and as far away from me as humanly possible. The person sitting on the other side of him was his love-buddy, who he was literally on top of. The friend continually told him to move over, but he would utter things like "I can't face the wall!".

I'm an observer so it was pretty easy to see what was going on.

It would have been less obvious if he had 'NO FAT CHICKS' printed on his Red Sox jersey. I always find it comical when men my age think that I am automatically going to want a ride on their love train.

It's just like when homophobes meet an openly gay man- they get it in their heads that the gay man is just going to drop on all fours for them just because they have a hankering for the Y chromosome. It's like they think that just because I am overweight, that I don't have my own preference. There's no way a fat girl could possibly want to have common interests and an actual physical attraction to a man.

It definitely didn't help that this dude was a meathead. Total JOE SIX PACK. I could read him like a book. He desires a skinny girl that his friends will bust his balls about- a trophy girlfriend. Someone well above what his own standards should rationally be. He wants someone who will go to baseball and football and hockey games with him, who will scream expletives at the players and slop beer all over her ample bosoms. He absolutely does NOT want an overweight English major who spends most of her free time reading literature and dabbling in the arts. He does NOT want a female who is marginally smarter than him, who has been around the bend with a man even smarter than her, and who will not stand for any bullshit.

I could look at him and see what he will be in ten short years. Balding with a larger waistline than mine, due to his extreme love of fatty foods and starchy beers.

He had made some side comment about a fat guy who did not want to hang out with them, and about his laziness to lose the weight. As a direct result of that comment {which was quickly silenced by the realization that a tubby girl was on board} I will get immense pleasure when I see run into him someplace down the road. Even then, he will likely have his same meathead views but slightly modified to fit his own situation. But funnier still was the reality of my feelings towards his "type". He could not have made a sillier attempt to say "NO WAY LADY" without realizing it was completely unnecessary. The moment he opened his yaw, I felt I would rather die a slow and painful death than date someone like him.

I mean, a cartoon like Family Guy may give some meatheads the idea that they can ask for standards in a woman that they shouldn't fulfill for themselves.

But don't make me feel like a lesser person because I'm not the girl of your deluded dreams.

And that's the end of my rant.

2009-01-03T11:51:00.004-05:00

I haven't written in my blog in like, forever. It's mostly because I feel like nobody really reads it any more (sad face). It is also because I spend at least eight hours a day umbilically attached to computer, so my tolerance for sitting in front of one to voice my thoughts has been very low. I thought I would throw out some updates, in case anybody cares!

One awesome thing about my job is that they are paying for college! I had to find a major that I could start with online and that my job would deem customer service related. I squeezed by with 'English Language & Literature'. This satisfies my second love, next to art. Since the dusk of high school, I have become an obsessive reader. I love writing creatively, but I definitely need guidance. I honestly don't know what kind of secondary job it could lead to. I'm leaving all of my options open. There is a hope that I could work in publication- something independent but exciting. Who knows, right?

It is kind of insane that I haven't written in my blog because I loathe computers, but wish to take online classes 2-3 days a week. It was a difficult decision, but with my strange schedule and the easier entry, it made more sense to me.

I almost went through the grueling process of attending UNH because of it's close proximity and awesome academics. The truth is, I may still consider it. The only problem is that my job limits the amount of degrees it will pay for, so I'm trying to get the most bang for my buck. I will go through a semester online with SNHU, if I'm unhappy with it, I'll look into transferring the credits to UNH and start with something else. Another complication with that idea is that I am trying to get the Bachelors under my belt for the possibility of needing it in the next four years. I'm a little unsure that I will last even that long at my company. It's actually a little back up plan, fleeting as it may be.

Backup plans are ALWAYS necessary in my life.

On the life front, I'm getting optimistic. I have a ton of vacation time this year (4 weeks!), so I'm planning a similar but better trip to last year's cheap Arizona getaway. We've been looking at flights to San Diego - we will hang there for a few days and then drive to Arizona. I really loved Arizona, but I felt a little ripped off by the limitations of the desert. I had planned on seeing the ocean because I was told Tuscon was in close enough proximity to California & Mexico. There was no specific plan to do so and it was reliant on the people lodging us, so it never happened. This year, we're planning California first, and we will share driving privileges as I will hopefully have my license by then (halfway there! passed the written!). Even if I don't, I can still help drive in Arizona- the lanes are ridiculously huge and a six year old could successfully navigate the highway.

I also have a three day vacation (wednesday through the weekend) scheduled for this coming week. I'm thinking about canceling it and pushing it back to the following week which has a payday and maybe squeezing in a very short getaway. The cheapest last minute deals are in Orlando, of which I would have to spend at least a day or two at Disney. So I would definitely need my paycheck. It depends on if the vacation schedule will allow me to do it, but I'm highly considering it. With this awful weather and my overworked buttocks, I really need some warm weather NOW. And some alone time.

Otherwise, my life consists of working and sleeping. Which is okay, for now.

2008-11-08T09:59:00.007-05:00

When I visited New York City last weekend, I had some particular ideas of what I thought it would be like. With a place so huge, diverse and intense, it would be hard for any of my expectations to be completely correct.

First of all, I compared it too closely with Boston. I felt like it would be a larger scale, younger version of my beloved 'Beantown'. In some ways, it was all of those things, and so much more.

It would be an understatement to say that New York City smells interesting. It opened up my smelling sense in a way I never thought possible. I keep telling myself that it's akin to a non-smoker walking into a smoke filled room for the first time. The room has all types of smoke in it, too, like cigars, pot and maybe a clove cigarette or two. It would be very overwhelming.

New York, to me, smelled like poop. Everywhere, all the time. Poop, and other excrement-like smells. Maybe it's just my smog less New Hampshire nose. I can't describe it any other way. To me, there was so much to see, so much to experience, but it was all laden with... poo. All I repeated all day long was "Oh, ew, I'm downwind... of death! Sweet poopy death!" and "BOSTON does NOT smell like THIS."

It wasn't until I was mildly buzzed with alcohol and the night was thick, the day closing to an end, that my nose finally calmed down. I got home and I was exhausted, after doing bus-chair yoga half-sleep for 5 hours... stripped down and fell into bed... but couldn't sleep because I smelled the ickyness on my skin.

I am not saying that I didn't love that city. That would be a lie. It gave me a case of visual A.D.D. in the course of my day. There were so many people, so many attractions, that I never got bored for even a small moment. It felt like some crazy melting pot of ridiculously huge buildings, diverse population and a sort of 'I've got shit to do and I've got shit to do NOW' attitude. There was somebody trying to sell me something here, there and everywhere. A purse vendor LITERALLY chased me down the street. I was browsing, he began to barter with me, which I politely declined. As I was leaving, he followed me, so I ran - and he ran screaming after me. I cannot say that has ever happened to me in Boston... or anywhere on the planet, for that matter.

My favorite venture was into the futuristic technicolor Times Square, which felt like some neon dream I had years ago. Being so close to the election, we were inundated with political messages and memorabilia. I couldn't help but buy a cheap Obama T-shirt and pin. Almost bought a Mccain/Obama condom that said "EITHER WAY YOU'RE SCREWED!" In retrospect, I wish I had. But I'm trying to be optimistic.

There were bleachers in Times Square, and somebody had been filming, which I assume was some GMA thing that had ended shortly before our arrival. People were still sitting on the bleachers, as if waiting for some kind of urban pep rally, which was abstractly weird. The crowds threatened to separate me and my pals, which was always disconcerting. We had all day and were running out of stuff to actually do, since we were trying to conserve money.. but somehow we all felt like we had to move onto the NEXT THING. The crowd was pushing us to it, whatever it was. So from Times Square, we were pushed to Central Park.

I only saw about 1/100th of that behemoth of a park, but it was an autumn masterpiece. It felt like it wasn't actually a park, but an exhibit of all parks. It had moats, ponds, streams. Giant rocks to climb, fields to lay out on, random paths to follow, statues upon statues, etc, etc. There was some big race going on, which was followed by fireworks. We couldn't find an end to it, and when we eventually got out of it, I half expected Central Park to find a way to suck us back in, like some episode of the Twilight Zone [[YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST VI STING!!]]

Eventually we circled back to Rockefeller Center, where we were to end our journey. We had dinner at the awesomest restaurant/bar that I have EVER been to. It was a haunted house themed eatery where all of the waitstaff dressed in costume and heckled you. When we entered the restaurant, they closed the door behind us and in front of us, locking us in complete darkness. This guy started screaming and saying crazy indecipherable stuff. Then the door opened and we walked into the dark and gloomy atmosphere.

All the waiters had parts in this giant, three tiered play with animated statues which actually talked to you. Some of them were obviously prerecorded, like the Bugaboo Creek talking heads, and some had people talking into them. Heckling the diners. Trying to hook one girl up with some guy.

There were several people they employed to walk around and smile creepy unbreakable smiles. Others would listen to conversation and jump in. For instance, I was talking to Rob about someone biting something, and this waiter walked up to me and yelled "BITE??! DO YOU BITE??!".. so I played along.. and so did he. He bit me. Which I have a picture of. It was crazy, but fun crazy.

The Jeckyl & Hyde bar was, hands down, my favorite experience of New York City. It was sort of like dinner theater, and somewhat affordable for NY standards. I went home a bit overwhelmed, but at least had been laughing on the way back to the bus. I would definitely go back there and bring more of my friends/family.

I think I will have to go back to NYC again, at some point, and feel it out again. Maybe in the summer next year. I know I would LOVE to bar-hop there. It's a gorgeous city at night.

Even chipmunks are sick of this s**t!!

2008-11-03T07:12:00.003-05:00

2008-06-21T05:47:00.005-05:00

I took in a cat, who I renamed from the awful "Pepper" tag, to Kyra. I removed her from my cousin's house, since he decided that he was going to kick her out because she was getting out of the house. Which is rediculous. She is a really well tempered cat and has intergrated into my house really well. But, oh, yeah, she was pregnant. She is no longer.

Officially, I have six cats. Two adults: Lula and Kyra. Then there is Lilly, Cortez [the killer], Granny and Julio. Except I just took them to the vet, and it turns out that Lilly is a boy and Cortez is a girl.

I could switch the names, but they're temporary, so who cares, right? Of course, they are all named after Dave Matthews related titles. So this makes me limited in my re-assigning of names. There are over a hundred titles, but there are a lot of numbers and non-namable songs.

I have thought about keeping one baby. Maybe Granny, but only because I would be insane to keep three long haired gray cats in my house. I figure that I'll have three, but as long as they all stay in different rooms it'll seem like I only have one. Yes, this is my logic.

The only permanent home right now is for a girl at work who apparently has been searching high and wide for a kitten. She's a single mom and has been looking for a kitten for herself and her son, mostly a "mouse-hunting cat" and companion. She seems really nice and was nervous that I wouldn't give her one in the end. This is so not the case. I can deal with THREE but not SIX. I advised that she will be accruing her portion of the vet fees [so far it is $20 a cat].

The only other [probable] taker is this woman who works at the veteranarian's office. I took out Julio and she put her hands up to her mouth hesitantly as her eyes became as wide as saucers. She told me that she had this cat named "Bubba" and he died eight years ago, since then she has been looking for a red-orange tabby boy and no cat has come close. Except for Julio.

I mean, she looked at this kitten like I looked at Dave Matthews when he was about a foot away from me. She works at the vets office and is obviously an animal lover. How can you say no to that?

So now I get to take care of them for 8-10 weeks. My house is going to be in nightmare shape, but at least I get the fun part. I get the fat little babies running around my house, and then I will send them to good homes. This will be the only litter I will ever have, though if I ever move to a bigger apartment [at some point I hope to] like a duplex or something, I would definitely consider rescuing other cats with litters. Just to one up my crazy cat lady status.

For now, I gots six cats.

Clarity

2008-05-23T23:54:00.002-05:00

The memory of my father slips away because I don’t want to remember him. If I remember him, if I remember everything about him, I will have to remember EVERYTHING. Not only will I recall his laugh, so similar to my own, but I must also see his last struggling breaths of air. The sound of his lungs working against him, against nature, betraying him.

The things that defined him, gave him importance, like the many games he played that required quiet and thought, hurt me. I think about the things that he clung to, the things that he obsessed over. I think about how useless they became in his final days. How they dropped away and became nothing, how you can’t fill a cemetery with the pieces on a chess board. How I can never know again that “One more minute!” during a golf tournament potentially means one more hour, or two, or three.

I don’t ever want to hear myself apologize to him for being a bad daughter, and I never ever want to hear him apologize for being a bad father. If I go back to this, I will have to be thirteen again, walking away from him in the last moments of his failure of a life.

My world went on. I cried enough, I grieved enough, and I went through the process. As the days passed, I left it behind me. Everything about him began to fade from my life to the point where discussing him became difficult. Naturally, I didn’t want to reflect on his life because I didn’t want to reflect on his death. Before the day Robert Theodore Katsikas disintegrated from the Earth, immortality was almost a certainty. Death was something that could happen to me, but it wasn’t something that would happen to me.

I am a master at pushing memories to the wayside. My childhood has become a scene in my life so alien that it is like I have become a different person. I am the interchangeable actor in a soap opera who takes the part of a main character. Only my name is important, not my heart. You can put any label on me that you would like, but I am not the little girl I once was. Perhaps I am not everything against what I hoped to be because what I wanted was simple. I’ve reached most of the goals that I set for myself early in life: freedom, change, independence.

But will I lie in my grave, wondering of things that might have been better than maybe?
Would I not like to be?

"I'd like to have put a flamethrower on it."

2008-04-25T16:44:00.002-05:00

"They wouldnt let me do that. I'd like to have put a taser, but the police came and talked to me about that. I realized the best thing to do is go with water, it's alot less hassle.... in the courts."
[laughs meniacally]

Bum Hugger: "It's a reprehensible little machine and it's dehumizing."
Steven Colbert: "More importantly, it's Debumminizing."

Alas, meet the Bumbot. A robot built to scare away homeless people.

You cut me open and I keep bleeding.

2008-04-04T18:31:00.023-05:00

The thing is, I don't want to get into the Tim thing again. It's hard not to when approaching the subject of love with me. In fact, it's nearly impossible. Every guy I've had in my life is compared to him, and they all seem to fall so short.

I recently went on a couple of dates with a guy I've known since Junior High. You may even remember him, G, since he was around our crowd back in the day. I had been talking to him online, he seemed to have grown out of whatever made him undatable in the past. I was totally wrong.

PART 1:

He was okay but I wasn't enthused with him. I wasn't completely put off, but in retrospect that may have been because of the booze. He was smart, not condescending. He wasn't my type at all, but in some lights I found him really cute. Seemed to enjoy my company and willing to take it slow with me. We had a few drinks and dinner; I felt insanely nervous and paid more attention making sure I didn't say/do anything crazy. He was a toned down version of the guy I would see on the next date.

The feeling I had was mostly a curious one. I didn't know if the annoying things about him were on party because of nerves. I hoped that I could get to know him better and he wouldn't be such a goofball. He gave me a little kiss at the end of it, and he pulled away as such to pique my interest. The way he ended the kiss was almost a stance of authority, and I liked it. Even pondered it for awhile.

PART 2:

He picked me up and my friend Karla was outside with me. She gave him the kind of look parents have for the mess their kid tells them she's going to marry instead of going to college. This was a little off putting for me, especially since his reaction seemed to be pretty negative. The date had already begun on a bad note.

Everything, and I mean everything he said was to be treated as a punch line to some unending joke. He was no comedian. Yet, what bothered me the most was that his hands were perpetually dirty. He had one of those jobs that does that, and I understood , but I still didn't want him touching me with those grubby mitts.

We ate at a cute little restaurant which I was enamored with, then he took me to his apartment.

It smelled of gas [apparently issues with the heating system] which was forgivable, but the smell never dissipated, making me feel uncomfortable. The apartment was dirty with the appearance of a frat-boy party house, all but the beer bong was missing.

Contrasting that was his roommate, who had a young daughter hanging on him like a cute little monkey. I was very attracted to him, and when my date got closer to me, I began fantasizing about the roommate. Even looking for hints of a mommy in the apartment, until I woke up and realized that I was grasping for boy straws.

We watched "Knocked Up", a movie about a girl who gets pregnant by someone hideously below her standards. He's dirty, he's chubby, and he's poor. All I could do was look at my date and feel her pain. Feel it touching my leg and batting eyes at me like I should be bracing for a kiss.

Of course, there will be no third date.

At one point he told me that I looked like I had a novicain shot to the face. I wanted to explain that my face is very expressive, and I was afraid that I would kill him with what was going on in my head.

Another bad attempt at love gone very wrong once again.

My thinking was this: I once fell for a guy who had initially turned me off. Fell harder than anything I ever thought possible. If he had been a date, I wouldn't have gone on a second one. I know I've thrown out a few guys with real possibility because I wasn't excited, and there's guilt because of that. I thought that if I start giving sub-par guys a chance, maybe they will surprise me. Maybe he would make it worthwhile. Why couldn't he?!

It seems like I'm now in a rut.

I won't allow myself to take the wall down because they're not HIM. I don't look at them and feel that. Therefor, I can't move forward because I'm stuck in that past, in that emotion. I know it's possible to have the "real thing", I can pinpoint exactly what it is.

I feel like I won't move on until I find it again.

Do it with a heart wide open.

2008-03-23T19:30:00.020-05:00

My aunt has talked about her take on Arizona for years, and now that my sojourn has come to a close, I have my own opinions. While I have found a natural kind of love for my own home of New Hampshire, there is definitely something special about the vast, sun bleached desert. As with any place that has been viewed in photos but not experienced, I had certain expectations of Arizona. I left with a very different idea of the landscape and what it had to offer.

First of all, it was very diverse. My mind's eye saw typical sand dunes, cactus and bone-dry landscape of every movie set in the mid-west. While this was one aspect of Arizona, it was just the beginning.

The "main drags" in Tuscon certainly consisted of everything I had intuited; dirty brown rust on just about every plant, animal and building in view, with an over abundance of southern based fast food restaurants and Mexican eateries stacked on top of Walmarts, K Marts and such. But just outside of the cities and suburbs there was immense beauty, all different kinds of beauty.

On the very outskirts of Tuscon is an outdoor museum with several names; more widely known as the Arizona-Senora Museum or simply, the Desert Museum. The ride to it was amazing as we drove down a deep winding road into vast green hills that were actually reminiscent of some huge European valley. I felt like running through it singing "The hills are alive!", but not for fear of being spanked by the surprise tiny cacti that hide among the bushes.

I was forced to push my aunt around in a manual wheelchair, since all of their electric chairs were charging. I can't say I got the best possible experience of it because I was throwing her up and down the hills with the sun beating on my reddened skull. Also, it was a combination museum, botanical garden and zoo, and the first exhibit was a pair of cougars.

Mountain lions are grossly abundant in Arizona outside of the cage, something I had experienced when on a nature tour I was on shortly before the Desert Museum visit. We were riding around Safari-like and there were dozens of big red evil signs screaming [[HIGH MOUNTAIN LION ACTIVITY]] which I read as [[DON'T GET OUT OF THAT THING TO TAKE A PICTURE OR THEY WILL EAT YOU ALIVE]]. Really, that wasn't far from the truth based on the neon green papers they handed out that explained how there were cougars coming out in the day and actually stalking people. Stalking.

So, when I walked up to the mountain lion exhibit, I was a bit perturbed. The information given to me had been that it is best to look them directly in the eyes and not to lose that visual contact, lest they make you out as weak and yummy. Naturally, I stared those two up like we were about to break-dance it out. Although I was probably safe enough, I still felt like they could somehow get to me, with the knowledge that they were literally just off of the beaten path from where I slept at night.

Then there was the famed Tombstone, which seemed a little hokey to me, but had it's merits. On one hand it seemed a homogenized and touristy wild west where only maybe there were once real cowboys and showdowns. It was one long strip of shops filled with overpriced turquoise jewelery, Native American symbols and pictures; and all the cowboy hats, snake skin belts and commemorative key chains one could stomach.

Yet there did seem to be a bit of that Cowboys-and-Indians dirty dog west kind of feeling in the air. If you venture away from the glossed up version of something that was once untamed, you could almost find the feeling of it. Almost.

All in all, it was cute, and most of the time I felt like I could have had the same experience from the feau-west at Canobie Lake Park.

My diamond in the rough was a large town just past Tombstone. It has a silly name, so I automatically loved it.

Bisbee. Bis-bee.
Busy bee. Business. Bee. Bis. Bizz.
You can call me fruity if you like, but it had me at "hello".

I fell especially in love with the alley that was as if it had been cut out and shipped from some in-between place in Italy or Spain or something. Unfortunately, I had eaten about ten meals and drank a dozen or so different drinks, so I wasn't in the mood sit on the patio of the little restaurant that pulled on my heart strings.

The majority of Bisbee was littered with antique and novelty shops, specifically aimed for the out-of-state visiting type like myself. It didn't seem to be a place one could actually call home without wanting to hurl oneself off of the nearest mountain, which wouldn't be a far throw. It's literally built into one.

None the less, charming.

At the end of the day, Arizona was a great and different kind of retreat. It was in the low 80's every day, with that dry heat that the elderly seem to find irresistable. I found it a welcome change from the shit-colored snow and bizarre weather that has been changing with the days of the week. I didn't think much about work, and mostly just enjoyed the atmosphere. It was what I needed - I will never regret a moment of it.

Am I rightside up or upside down?

2008-03-19T08:20:00.004-05:00

Alas, my week is about halfway over.

It's been nice so far, unfortunately not quite awesome. Monday brought clouds, chilly temperatures, and off-and-on rain showers. It seemed nearly as cold as a warm March day in New Hampshire.

We checked out the local Casino and played a long round of Bingo. The Casino was cute, but not impressive, the Bingo was expensive and the payout was bad. It was a bit of familiarity for me, which is something I needed with all of the foreign sights and feelings.

Everything here feels sort of half alive, dormant somehow. Most of the vegetation is dry, thorny and sick looking. Yet there are instances of life and color in between, some prehistoric looking trees and the occasional patch of wildflowers. There is always a visible backdrop of the jagged mountains, mostly because there is very little that could hide it. Sans Monday's dreariness, the sun has been intense and the warm breeze endless. It's incredibly foreign in comparison to the northeast - exactly what I've hoped for in a vacation.

We went to the Phoenix Zoo yesterday, an outdoor oasis of sorts. Of course, all of the animals that we wanted to see were given their daily sleeping pill or hiding in a far corner. I can't exactly blame them, I would keep my distance or attempt to nap through the thousands of eyes on me. Yet it was a lovely place with lots of tree cover and a very pretty pond [from afar, I definitely wouldn't want to rent one of their boats for severe fear of falling in it].

It had all of the negatives that go along with such attractions; four dollar bottles of water and six dollar hot dogs, neglectful parents who thought taking along extra children was a good idea when they can barely keep track of their own, the constant smell of wildlife poop.

We were able to check out some small shops on the ride there and back, so I was able to knock off some gift requests from my friends. We're running low on money now so we have to start becoming uber conservative with it.. at least the rental car is amazing with gas - so much so that my aunt wants to buy it immediately. The hope now is that we can go to Mexico with the people who are housing us, apparently we're a couple hours from a small fishing and touristy village with beautiful beaches and more beautiful liquor.

I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside.

2008-03-17T07:33:00.010-05:00

I have officially arrived in Tuscon, Arizona with very few bumps and bruises. Emotionally, or otherwise. I do, however, feel like my bones have somehow shifted and gained weight through this process. I guess it's what people call "jetlag".

We left Boston on Sunday afternoon, around 3:45pm. I was comforted in the takeoff by the spectacular Harbor view we had. I recognized every building while we zoomed off into the clouds.

The first portion of the trip had us on a 4 or so hour flight with a stop in Dallas Fort Worth, where we hung out for about ten and a half seconds. It would have been nice to have spent some time there, from above Dallas seemed like an attractive city with a lot to work with. It had quite a bit more water than I would have expected. Maybe that's because I always think of this area of the world as dry, desolate and full of tumbleweeds.

I think that the biggest adjustment for me has been the time difference. It was only an hour change from Boston to Dallas, which was no big deal. For heck sake, we were only living an hour earlier a couple weeks ago, anyways. All I had to do was look at my clock and remove that amount of time. Simple enough.

But then we had a 2-or-so hour flight from there to Tuscon and that's when things went awry for me. How do you tell your body that's it isn't 11 o'clock at night, but actually 8pm? How do you pretend that you haven't spent 6 long hours feeling like the world's heaviest bag of bones west of the Mississipi? I know this isn't exactly an age old question, but it is to me. I've never done this before.

I mean, the clock is telling me that it's nearly 6am. I've been up for two hours, and I never-ever get up at 4am. I know that I'm still registering on Eastern Standard Time, which means that I may be going to bed really early and waking up earlier for half a week. Which is half of my vacation.

Hopefully it works itself out.

It was rainy when we got here, and actually chilly. Almost exactly like home, except the air smells different when it rains. It has a strangely sweet scent, to me a mix of mint and manuer, which was foreign enough to my brain to give it a red flag. I haven't actually seen the city, as it was so dark that the only thing that stood out to me was the bright neon sign for a strip club. Plus, I was so tired, and such a different kind of tired, that it wouldn't have mattered if it was sunny and beautiful.

I shall tell you about my days to come, dear Blog, since we have a few sources for camera and I forsee some mis-adventures ahead [did I mention I'm here with Auntie Chris? Ya].

She's gonna break free.

2008-03-16T12:13:00.006-05:00

I'm about to leave for my very first plane on my way to Tuscon, Arizona for my weeklong sojourn in the sun. Of course, I'm pretty nervous about it.

I'm flying out of Boston on American Airlines. Everything seems to be set up the way it should.

Thought I should give you the heads up just in case I die. Cause you know. What goes up must come down & it's not always the pretty way.

This is my first real vacation. Wish me luck & fun!!

I'll be watching you.

2008-03-08T12:27:00.000-05:00

Oh. My.

I know this may not be news to anyone in particular, but it's the sweetest internet invention I've discovered in my lifetime. It's what I call "Googlestalk" but what Google actually calls "Street view". It is awesome.

This is how it works: use Google to search for an address, as long as it is in a major city that the website has captured [mine is one of them] then you can click on the little photo, and voila! You can now virtually walk down that neighborhood and stare in people's windows like the Googlestalker you've now become. To be fair, most windows are pretty well blurred, as are license plates and other sensitive information.

Normally, I probably wouldn't think of this little tool as a stalking mechanism, but that was the first thing I ended up using it for. Let's just say I have a crush, and the crush's address is public record, so I kind of had to look. Why? I don't know. I blame it on Googlestalk. It made me do it.

What? I'm not actually going to go there. Except virtually...

I'll be in the air for 6 hours.

2008-03-08T11:37:00.001-05:00

MySpace Countdown Clocks

On another note, my current boy obsession.

2008-01-27T22:03:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is Shia Lebouff.

I've been watching some of his recent movies, and man that guy has grown up since his days on "Even Steven's". In fact, he's starting to pull a "Harry Potter" on me [a.k.a. o jeeze, how'd he get so sexy?! Is it legal to be thinking this?].

I can't say exactly why I've been falling so hard for Shia. Maybe it's his awkard boyishness, the puppy dog brown eyes, or the intensity he seems to put into his roles. Lately, I've become really jealous of Rihanna...

Just thought I would mention it. I'm bored, so I thought you should know.

RIP Heath

2008-01-27T21:51:00.000-05:00

The oddest thing happened when I found out that Heath Ledger passed away; my immediate reaction was "Oh my god, not possible! This has got to be a joke!" and I began googling it to death
just to prove it. Somewhere in the back of my head were the words but he's so gorgeous... and the accent... and talented... nooooo.....

Unfortunately, I found that I was incorrect. Heath did, in fact, pass away.

I also found that I was not alone in this reaction. Everywhere I looked there were posts with the exact reaction. Shock, dismay and disbelief.

I have always been a fan of his work, especially the groundbreaking and amazing Brokeback Mountain. He was a decent actor and, obviously, one of the sexiest around. The loss of Heath is pretty big and unbelievable one. Rest in peace.

Rediculously Awsome.

2008-01-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

Colbert could sex me up anyday.

Oh My George --> Silly Babies Galore

2007-12-24T21:49:00.000-05:00

If your heart is no where in it I don't want you for a minute.

2007-12-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

And I'm finally writing in my blog...

I've attempted a few times but have just been so tired that I couldn't. I sorry.

I've been putting my full effort into my job now that I'm out of training. I moved on up and out and the craziness has mostly died down. I guess it's regular practice for most big office jobs to put you through the wringer for the first year, but I feel like I've gone through a lot. So much that I've bonded closely with a group of friends that I feel might be a lifetimes worth. Pat, Ana and Karla have become my girls, even though Pat's not with the company anymore. There's also the sweetest little gay guy on the planet, Rob, and my good-guy-but-pain-in-the-ass Dan. Tihiu's been giving me rides in the morning and she's the nicest little Mexican girl on the planet. All around good.

Now it's a matter of getting used to the daily ins and outs of the call center. It's difficult work, especially with the particular group of calls I handle. Somehow, though, I feel like I've been getting enough positive reinforcement to compensate. Plus, the monetary compensation helps, too. It's nothing extravagant, but it's money that I can live on and pay my bills on. It certainly beats where I stood a year ago, even 6 or 8 months ago, really. So I'm doing well.

Christmas is here and it's overwhelming, as usual.

My mother's side of the family has finally gone bonkers. They totally ignored my birthday, and now the big holiday is already looking a little scary. At first we were collecting at my aunt's house, but she backed out and also added the rule that we only buy presents for the "kids". Which is convenient because the only real "kids" left are her two.

For the past week, we've had no destination and the same aunt that backed out decided she doesn't want my uncle around for the day. She literally kicked him out of Christmas --> which would be fine if he was a newby to the family, but my uncle has been around since I was sucking my thumb. I feel that it's incredibly selfish and I have a hard time sitting back and acting like it's just okay when he's already shown that he's hurt by it. So.. craziness all around.

I'm looking forward to making more money and maybe having a decent job for life. All I need to do is stick to my diet [which I totally haven't in the past couple weeks], do Yoga or general exercise again, and start being the person I was happier with, the healthier Katie. Maybe I'll be in a place where I am comfortable enough with myself to meet a boy. Someday I want a family and all that stuff, and it's good to know that I may be able to help support it. But I don't plan on wearing a sign that says that.

Anyways, that's the low-down on me. I hope to keep you more updated.

I wish it were simple.

2007-10-13T13:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the non-posting. The non-computer and the crazy job has kept me from doing so. I hope to be getting a PC at some point in the near future, but I'm catching up on some major bill boo-boos.

So, you're thinking that I'm held up in some basement below a crazy man about to be hooked me up to a murder machine? Well, that's true and it isn't.... at least not literally.

I've found myself in the world of See-No-Evil (etc). It's a place that feels suspiciously like some corporate version of 1984. You can't just act the way they want you to act, dress the way they want you to dress, speak the way they want you to speak, but you must also think how they want you to think. Except for the fact that our main example of professionalism is the least professional person I have ever met. If I delved into that, you're jaw would drop to the floor.

The Dystopian concept of Double Think is all around me. If you aren't familiar with the it, I Wikipedia-ed it for you:

Applied to an opponent, it means the habit of impudently claiming that black is white, in contradiction of the plain facts. Applied to a Party member, it means a loyal willingness to say that black is white when Party discipline demands this. But it means also the ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know that black is white, and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary.

There is a constant contradiction of words and actions. Sometimes it's difficult to say "Well... this is amazing money and stellar benefits, so I'll just eat this crazy medicine with a spoon full of sugar."

But, I try, none the less, and it seems like I'm actually doing okay, considering that the class is failing all around me. If I can get through this class, maybe the company will be different. Maybe they're putting us through all of this to try to break us, so that they're sure we can handle the job... Like mental boot camp. I'm just not sure that I like the process, or the processees, if you will.

Alas, I'm not doing terribly, and it's the main point that draws out my Optimism. The main thought is 'No News Is Good News' and it's what I've been ultimately working with. I haven't been given any spacific criticisms, had no grave meetings with outside bosses, and haven't seen any real discipline that wasn't dished out to the whole class. I'm trying not to lose myself too much in the process... wish me luck...

I dedicate this post to Angry Jessica.

2007-09-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

Because it's obvious this girl needs the attention. She wrote a response post to my Top 5 WTF's (which, to refresh your memory, were blogs I found through the NextBlog option, and found myself laughing at).

"why the hell are you making fun of other people's blogs and thoughts? they don't make them for you...they make them for theirselves. if you don't like it, don't f'n read it. your blog sucks, but it doesn't matter b/c it's your own dumb mind and you have every right to be dumb and immature on your own blog. get a life."

First of all, I'm going to make the same suggestion that you have made to me. If my blog sucks so much, why are you reading it? I didn't make it exclusively for you, ANGRY JESSICA. While you have a minor point that maybe I shouldn't be making fun of other blogs, the other side of the coin is that they are public and therefor leave themselves open to scrutiny. As I have left my blog open to your angry remarks.

My favorite part of this little one sided argument you left on my blog is when you say it doesn't matter b/c it's your own dumb mind and you have every right to be dumb and immature on your own blog. Yes, that's correct, I do have a right to be "dumb" and "immature" on my own blog. But leaving a nasty message on someones blog calling them names and saying they suck is what I would title as "dumb" and "immature".

So who's calling the kettle black here?

Well, ANGRY JESSICA, it was wonderful hearing your commentary and thanks for giving me a little chuckle! Please stop by again, since my blog is public and open to your angry thoughts. I noticed you have your own blog set to private and it makes me a little curious. Since you seem to have strung together a rather large load of hypocracy and terrible grammar in just one small paragraph, I doubt it's anything worth reading.

O NO! Mo' Kitties!

2007-09-15T18:18:00.001-05:00

I'm running into these lolcat things everywhere, and I'm beginning to fear that there are cats all over America constantly under the spotlight of a digital camera, while their owners maniacally wait for them to do something cute.

Anyways, these are my current findings. Enjoy! ♥

On a sillier note...

2007-09-09T14:12:00.001-05:00

I saw these on ROFLcat.com, so I thought I should share them with you.

My personal favorite is Invisible Shopping Cart.

Where you are is where I belong.

2007-09-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

SIDE NOTE

I miss (Tim) so damn much! I ask whatever God there may be... I ask with my hands raised high above my frustrated head...

Is it asking too much to see him just once?

I see other Warehouse Boys all the time.

It seems somehow terrible to me, but no men named Tom, Gustavo, Ben *or otherwise* are ever going push him out of my head... so it seems.

I feel like I'm crazy, but what if I really did walk away from the only true connection I ever had? Why do I dream about him? Why do I think about him? Why?!

Sometimes, if I'm having a bout with insomnia, I think about his smile. It makes me feel safe.

For christ sakes. I'm telling this to the 'net cause I have to say it. I've internalized this for so long. I need an outlet. I'm still in love with him. How, exactly, and why?

Where are you going?

With that long face pulling down

Don't hide away

You are like an ocean

That I can't see but I can feel

Your waves crash down...

I am no super man

Not at all

And I have no answers for you

I am no hero

Oh, and that's for sure

But I do know one thing

Where you are is where I belong.

I do know where you are is where I want to be.

Where are you going?

Where do you go?

Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else.

2007-09-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

Is this a Squirrel Pirate, or a Pirate Squirrel? You decide.

I've been feeling a little disassociative lately. It's all the dressing up and enthusiastic smiling and trying so darn hard to be "Focused, Commited, HUMAN FIREWALL Katie". Yes, that's right, we need to see ourselves as human firewalls. It sounds kind of like a super hero, so I'm down with it.

Here again, I'm not going to delve into the new job too much because while I'm mostly afraid of some kind of jinx... it has more to do with the sensitive nature of the vocation. You understand. I will say that I have been extremely stressed out, with much cause. All I can do is be optimistic and work hard, right? I hope. Gahd, I really really hope it's enough.

I don't have a computer yet (sad face), I happen to be at my aunts house giving both you and my Ipod a much needed update. It looks like a new PC may be on the horizon, however (happy face).

I'm also thinking about getting some kind of Iphone or Ipax so that I can completely avoid the temptation to surf at work. If it saves my bum, it just might be worth the investment... since I lack in the self-control department. You know this especially, G-masta.

Anyhoo, it will suffice to say that my life is extremely transitional at the moment, and I'm putting in my best effort. Again, wish me luck, I may even ask for prayers at this point.

It's go time.

2007-08-16T14:33:00.001-05:00

..... and I'm skerred.

..... Skerred, but excited.

It's looking out to be the longest week end of my young life, and then onto PSNH Boot Camp.

I just hope I like the drill sargent.

Take these chances...

2007-08-15T11:44:00.001-05:00

In consideration that I no longer have a working computer and my new job at PSNH, it might be awhile until my next post. It could be weeks or even months before you hear an official peep from me, but I'll do what I can to get a new PC with the $$$ I earn.

I'm feeling FEARFUL, STRESSED and OPTIMISTIC at this moment.

My fear is obvious, as the big move from one job to another looms. The what if's are swimming all about me, biting at my knees and toes. I tell myself that it will work out, that it must work out, and yet the fear is here to stay.

My stress is abundant from multiple sources.

My last actual workday is tomorrow and I have an amount of applications that my co-workers will be undertaking in my leave. While I don't have any reponsibility toward the client's once I have turned in my badge, I feel like I must get everything done that I can. I think it's as a result of my guilt, which will be fully confronted Friday when Southern New Hampshire Services has it's annual summer get-together at the big bosses house. I'm really praying for a lot of booze and conversation about things other than Katie's exit.

The rest of my stress is mostly a result of my precious little roommate, who apparently sees me as her doormat. I don't want our relationship ruined because of her childish stupidity, but I can't help feeling beligerant. And finally, I'm stressed about the quickly oncoming event of training for Public Service.

The optimism comes from my doubtful hope that I will be successful at this job, that the training will not be too challenging and the transition into the Call Center will be effortless. My plan is to make the best impression I can on everyone that I come in contact with, because I've found that the more people I have on my side, the better. Makes sense, righto?

Wish me luck, please, and let me know whatcha think. I'm all ears!

♥ Kate

You got it, babe.

2007-08-15T08:12:00.001-05:00

2007-08-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

I went to Bean Town a couple weekends ago, so I thought I would share the pictures with you. In my ultimate show of Katie's true age, I went on a Whale Watch.

I see in your face the places you've been.

2007-08-08T07:19:00.000-05:00

I am an employee of Public Service of New Hampshire, or so says the company's official 3-headed Cerberus, Elaine Dame. I should be feeling a heavy lift come off of my chest, yet it is quite the opposite situation. After 8 months of struggle to get in the door, the feeling is that I'm looking forward to quite a bit more struggle.

My rationalization is this: 16$ an hour is crazy money in the Queen City... PSNH will want it's bang for the buck. I've been a temp in several companies like this one, and it seems to me that they enjoy the Type A personality, while I rest very comfortably in the latter.

Can I be what they need? Am I going to fit in? Can I walk the scary thin line that is Uber Professionalism? I certainly haven't cut it at any of my former jobs, and even if I had stayed at Southern NH Services for a lifetime, it just isn't on the same planet as PSNH.

I can't judge my growth based on this small time job, for there are people who've worked here who spent years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon... the smelliest, angriest little Oompa in the Universe... and women who can't get in other jobs for various reasons...

In reality, this vocation is like "The Goonies" of the work force, a smorgasbord of mostly okay folks who've been sub-par in their previous positions. I am a "Goonie" in this sense, truly, and I think it's what scares me the most. I fit in at SNHS because I've been sub-par, and when I convinced PSNH otherwise, it was mostly BS.

The real question is, how long can I keep up the lie? Can Katie become the lie, and maybe be the kind of professional I wish I could be?

I'm definitely going to give it a go. Wish me luck.

This is Katie, conquering the T-Rex of all jobs.

Coupon-tastic!

2007-07-19T15:43:00.000-05:00

I have a penny-pinching boss.

I recently explained how I toss out my Gas Coupons because I don’t have a vehicle in which to use my 45 cents per gallon discount. She replied in the form of a glare, so thick and sharp that it felt like a laser-eye decapitation. She then explained how she feels itchy on the inside when she walks into a store without a coupon nestled in her money hungry fingers.

I have since carefully secured and handed over such precious coupon-tastic commodities to my boss, for fear of life and limb.

In light of my bosses creepy obsession with unholy discounts, I found out that there is a website packed full of online shopping coupons that could keep my sweet-deal-searching-supervisor happy for quite awhile, and maybe a little less itchy.

Keepcash.com has coupons for everyone, even a Lexmark from Circuit City for 53.98! Oh, snap! How about 10% off of any washer and dryer set from Sears?! That could add up to quite a discount, ladies and gentlemen.

If you happen to be itching for a whole lotta good coupons for retailers you likely have bought from at least once, then Katie highly recommends Keepcash.com.

And what Katie recommends, you feel compelled to love. It's true.

What will become of me?

2007-07-19T14:12:00.000-05:00

The last week has been exhasting.

It began with a phone call.

"Hello, it's Eileen from PSNH, and we would like to offer you a position. Blah, Blah, Blah, 16 dollars an hour, Blah, Blah."

"How much?!"

"16 dollars and 10 cents (pause) blah, blah, blah."

I was sweating bullets, dang near hyperventilation. They had told me it would be around 13 an hour start... but 16 was out of this world.

The matter at hand was that I had fallen head over heels for my month-old job at Southern New Hampshire Services. My job is to get people the help they need, without the State breathing over my shoulder or the messiness of being an official Case Worker. It's honest work, keeps me busy in a good way, and I like my co-workers, LOVE my boss... Fuel Assistance season (December through April) may drive me batty, but I know I can handle it.

The only issue is the money. I'm not going to starve on it, but I'm not going to live on it. I can't buy the things I want without careful planning, or pay all the bills I'd like to all the time.

But if this were the only thing stressing me out, I wouldn't have struggled with bouts of insomnia and nightmares this past week.

PSNH gave me the "offer" but certainly not on a silver platter. They're running a credit check, which brings on acid reflux every time I think about it. My credit isn't the bottom of the barrel because I haven't created credit card debt or car repos or anything... but I have made a lot of mistakes and pulled in some hospital bills. Overall, I would give myself a C-/D.

Not to mention the fact that my credit is irrelevent to my spacific job and Public Service should warn hopefuls that they do this. Don't make me repeat what her explaination was, because it makes me want to punch babies.

To be continued....

Top 10 Boys

2007-06-25T10:26:00.001-05:00

Holy George. I should get paid for this. I've been working on this list for a week and a half, unable to update it for more than 20 minutes or so at a time. Normally, I'd have given up a day into it, but I couldn't leave it with just my Top 10 Girls. I think you'll agree that it would look a little funny.

These are the 10 Hottest Celebrity Boys according to Katie. The spot for 10 & 9 are tied due to the consequence that if I choose one, I'm obligated to mention the other contrasting hotty. It's really only fair.

Here goes.

# 10. Jack & Sawyer

Matthew Foxx & Josh Holloway
Jack. Desperately in love with the criminally flighty Kate, but unwilling to act on it or even admit it. He's a Doctor and the son of a brilliant surgeon, who he always seemed to let down in one way or another. When daddy became an alcoholic and caused the death of a patient, Jack had too big a conscience to pass the buck somewhere else. Due to Jack's betrayal, his father decided to drink himself to death in Australia. Jack got onto the fated plane with a casket in tow and an extremely guilty conscience, yet was able to immediately win the survivor's trust in a very "Lord of the Flies" fashion.

Sawyer. He also entered the fated plane with a guilty concience, due to his responsibility for the death of a man who he'd believed ruined his life. As he seemed to be dealing with his wrongful murder and hateful grudge, he fell for the girl who was most interested in his tale... the girl who all but projectile vomited at the sight of him... but seemed more that willing to boink him dirty when his life became threatened. Even though Kate the Amazon seems to have retreated back to Jack emotionally, it's hard to believe she doesn't have feelings for Sawyer. He certainly has them for her. Grr.

#9. Angel & Spike

David Boreanaz & James Marsters
Angel. His name says it all. He plays the vampire with a soul who cannot achieve 'true happiness' ( sex with Buffy) without forfeiting his soul. He has spent his time on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" as the quintessential soul mate, hurling the confused girl's life into a constant state of angst. He exited after the third season in order to start his own break-out series, and to end the constant conflict of "Will he lose his soul on her stomach? Won't he? Will he?!". Angelus has been saving the lives of victims in the pun-intended city of lost angels, and I'm far too lazy to find out if the show has actually expired after all these years.

Spike. He's the rebel vamp without a cause, formerly known as William the Bloody. He once had a reputation of Slayer Killer and has spent many a season carefully scheming ways to take Buffy down, only to have his ass kicked in many a funny fashion. Finally, Spike came to realize what had held him back from 'giving it to her good and proper'. He was in love with the Buffster and always had been. Long story short, Buffy had a kind of re-introduction to the world and found herself less human and banging the bajeezis out of her best frienenemy, Spike. Once she realized that she was sleeping with the enemy and walked away, Spike got his soul and sacrificed himself for her. Don't fret, his ghost shows up on "Angel" in a jiffy.

#8. Mcdreamy

Patrick Dempsey
He's the dreamiest doctor in television, probably since George Clooney put on a gurney on E.R.

Mcdreamy is so hot that when he lied (by omission) to his gorgeous girlfriend about being married, she forgave him. Not ONLY did she forgive him, but she begged him to divorce his vixen wife and choose her instead. She was practically on hands and knees with a speech very much like the one Julia Robert's gave in "My Best Friend's Wedding". You had to feel humiliated for her, but you understood. He's worth it... Just look at him. Seriously.

His role on the show is total asshole once again, since he's in the process of breaking Meredith's heart a second time. But you still can't hate him, and when she begs for his affection in another pathetic attempt, the reaction will probably be "Wow, that's desperate. I get it. He's freaking Mcdreamy."

#9. Romeo

Leonardo Dicaprio
People either get him or they don't. There are gals who think he was an effeminate boy in his late teens & early twenties, and feel now he's blossomed into one weird looking dude. I don't necessarily share that school of thought.

Leo definitely has an odd look to him, but it's an appealing oddness. He was a little girly during his Romeo and Titanic days, but the beating heart and undying boyish spirit brought it into a sexy perspective.

He's been taking on roles that tackle the hard issues these days, which is something I admire. He's an avid Environmentalist and somewhat of a political activist, while choosing acting gigs that showcase such beliefs. I think he's come into his looks quite nicely, from heart throb boy to chiseled man.

#6. Unbreak My Heart.

Tyson Beckford
I feel Toni Braxton's pain. The thought of this chocolate Adonis breaking his face and dying in a motorcycle accident would force me into emphatic miserable wales, too. It could even make me sing a ballad or two, but I'll let Ms. Braxton do the singing.

I don't know much about Tyson, except for his roles in music videos and print.

I would do some research and get to know his personality and work a little better, but why bother? I'm content with knowing just how darn pretty he is.

#5. Meet Joe Black

Brad Pitt
Say what you will about Brad Pitt, I'm saying that he is an intolerably beautiful man to even the highest of standards. He has a full set of pouty lips, he almost always has a chiseled, rock hard body, and a smile that could melt anyone into submission. He was sensual, honest and good as a vampire, rough around the edges as a cop, and the hottest, most creative imaginary friend... among many other characters in many different movies.

The sight of peanut butter still makes me sweat a little... okay, a lot.

#4. Glycerine

Gavin Rossdale
I do not like Gwen Stefani. Why, you ask? It's simple. Her husband, one Gavin Rossdale. I saw him in person at my very first live concert, at the Hampton Beach Casino some years ago. It was a very sexy introduction to incredible and professional live music. Not only is he a talented singer, he might be the most physically attractive person I've ever been in a room with. Seriously.

Pictures have yet to grasp the sick beauty that is Gavin. He had the charisma of a latin lover, the face of some mythical Adonis, a sexy voice that rocked the house, and intense bedroom eyes.

When I watched him, the only thought in my head was "I have never seen a man before this day." With the exception of Dave Matthews, this still remains true.

#3. Jordan Catalano

Jared Leto
Jared isn't well known for his acting. He had one minor role on "My So-Called Life", an early 90's teen drama about angst in a world full of plaid. He was the dreamy bad lad who Angela Chase, the red headed heroine, spent her time hormonally obsessing over. I can't blame her... he has such soft and intricate features, even when it was clear his Jordan character was dumb as a doorknob, you couldn't help but wonder if there was more there.

Other than his stint as Jordan Catalano, he's shown his perfect mug in minor supporting roles... Wynona's Vietnam deserter who tried to break her out of the mental institution, the pretty face that was ruined in "Fight Club", and other such gigs.

These days, you'll mostly see him gothed out for his performances as lead singer in the rock group "30 Seconds To Mars".

#2. Alfie

Jude Law
This is a man that could make any word sound sexy. Snuffalufagus. Boise. Nickerbocker.

When he wraps his tongue around a word, it's instantly the best thing you've ever heard. I cannot count the number of times I've gone into hypnosis while watching one of his interviews; the gratuitous overload of such a beautiful face and smooth English accent has a tendency to short circuit my brain. In fact, I think I'm having a little seizure just thinking about it.

My favorite performance from Jude was, hands down (and preferably on him), in the futuristic Speilburg movie 'Artificial Intelligence'. Why was this my favorite performance? Was his acting Oscar worthy, or something?

Hell no. He played a Sex Robot.

Yes, that's right. He was programmed to love anyone, anytime, anywhere, and with all the right moves. Hell yes.

#1. Under The Table & Dreaming

Dave Matthews
I know what you're thinking. At least, I know what you're probably thinking. Dave Matthews is not hotter than the other 9, actually 11, men on this list. But this list is who Katie believes is hottest. To me, Dave is number one as it would be blasphemy to say otherwise. I've seen him up close, and he has a subtle and very attractive boy-next-door charm to him. I'm in love with the way that he expresses himself, eloquently and always laced with light-hearted silliness.

On the surface, his bum is spectacular in a pair of jeans. His hair may be creeping high on his forehead, but you can ignore that when he begins to sing and his face contorts in the most adorable ways.

I find Dave's ability to speak honestly, with heart, and intellect to be his sexiest attribute. My favorite quote is a political one, because I find that it gets right down to the heart of my political centristisms.

"I think an important thing in this country to remember is that freedom is something that you reach for. A just society is something that you aim for. But you can never achieve it.

There's no way to have a free society, because it's no longer a society, then it's an anarchy. So it's something you should strive for -- intellectual freedom, but within reason. Physical freedom, but within reason.

You're free to go jogging, but you're not free to shoot someone. We should be free to think what we like, but we shouldn't necessarily be free to stand outside somebody's home and scream damnation at them because they don't think like us.

And you strive for justice. And I feel like as I watch politicians talk I wonder, 'Why are you wasting your time? There's so many things that you could be doing.' But that's my problem. We all can be romantics and I guess that's where I am, a romantic."

I have to say that in the end, I'm also a romantic.

Katie's Top 10

2007-06-24T10:44:00.000-05:00

I've been watching what seems to be an endless amount of television shows with the top (whatever number) hottest celebrities. I've been constantly wondering what my list would be.

So here it is, from the boredom of Katie and her slow weekend. Katie's Top 10 Gals n' Guys... beginning with the gals, since the most recent show I watched was Maxims Hot 100.

Next post will be my Top 10 Guys, since it'll take me a little longer to get through that.

#10. Wednesday Adams

Christina Ricci
I've always had a certain appreciation for women with strong and quirky features. While Christina is by no means the most beautiful girl, she has a dark and punk kind of look to her; an attitude of sorts. I really wish she would gain some weight, but even as gauntly as she tends to be, she's still quite lovely with her huge, dark eyes and the unique 5-head.

I've been a fan since she was a child star in movies like "Casper" and "Now and Then".

#9. Rogue

Anna Paquin
Another one of my favorite former kiddy stars, she was the fair complected girl who had a deep love for duck-like foul in "Fly Away Home". If you don't get the subtext to that, I should let you know that I have an unnatural and quite adolescent obsession with ducks.

Anna is better known for her role as Rogue on X-Men, playing the girl who could touch no one. I love her for her alabaster complection, and strong, feminine features.

#8. Angela Chase

Claire Danes
Claire was the star of my second favorite television show of all time, My So-Called Life. She played an angsty teenager in the mid-nineties grunge era, opposite one of the most beautiful actors alive, Jared Leto (who will make an appearance on my Top 10 boys list). I'm also partial to her performance as a star-crossed lover in Romeo + Juliet.

Claire emits a natural, girl-next-door beauty that is both down to Earth and highly enviable.

#7. La Tortura

Shakira
This belly throttling hispanic import has hella stage presence. I've watched some of her taped performances, and was completely floored by how well she commanded a stage. Her voice can sometimes sound a little odd, but this pop princess knows how to shake it like a Polaroid picture.

Her appeal is evident in her curvaceous yet toned body and adorable child-like face.

#6. Princess Padme

Natalie Portman
She got her start in showbiz as a Lolita-esque protege of a hit man in "The Professional". She then practically starred in several of the "Star Wars" episodes and has slowly moved into the romantic comedy section of Blockbuster... though her last hit was a dark gothic rip off of the book "1984" in the newish flick "V for Vendetta".

I favor Natalie's delicate complexion, with exotic features inherted by her father, a native Isreali. She's Harvard educated and smart as heck.

#5. Joey Potter

Katie Holmes
For six seasons of my TV enthused life, Katie played a tween hopelessly betrothed to the Speilburg-poster-humping Dawson Leery. She was, literally, the girl next door. She was repressed, confused, and obsessed... but equally endearing and beautiful.

I find her attractiveness in her overemphasized features; huge, puppy dog eyes, a round, pouty mouth and a thousand watt smile. There are some who hate the snickery expressions she tends to make, while I adore them.

#4. Aeon Flux

Charlize Theron
This girl has been many things; an Astronauts wife, the mother of a kidnapped and weezy Dekota Fanning, married to the Devil's hot advocate, a homicidal lesbian prostitute headed for death row, and an Alaskan factory worker standing up for her female rights. She's been spectacularly gorgeous in all... or most of them...

What about Charlize is so darn gorgeous? Well, what isn't. Her face says it all.

#3. Izzy Stephens

Katherine Heigl
She portrays the caring, fun, and erratic Doctor Isabelle Stephens on currently my favoritest show ever (!) "Grey's Anatomy". As the story goes, Izzy is former trailer park trash who gave up her baby and eventually paid her way through college by modeling, all on her road to Seattle Grace Hospital. Now that her heart patient fiance croaked, she's moved on emotionally to her bestest bud, George.

Katherine is unnaturally endowed with multiple features; tall stature, big boobs, curvaceous bod, and a round, doll like face. I hate to love to hate her every Thursday night.

#2. Buffy Summers

Sarah Michelle Gellar
As star of my all-time favorite television show, Sarah automatically gets top ranking in my heart. She spent 7 years as the slayer of vampires, weilding the sexy undead hearts of one intolerably hot Angel and a bad boy named Spike or William the Bloody, if you will. The last time I saw Sarah, she was either gallavanting with a computer animated Scooby Doo or running around a haunted house in Japan on the set of "The Grudge". Anything else she's worked on is heretofor ignored.

I think a girl is sexy and interesting if she has such features that are entirely unique but not gouging (a.k.a. Angelina). SMG has one of those faces that seems remarkable; maybe it's the sharp juts of her nose, the contrasting fullness of her cheeks or her big, defined eyes. Either way, I've always found the Buffster stunning *though she could use a couple pounds added to her rediculously tiny frame*.

#1. Kate Austin

Evangeline Lilly
She is Kate. Before she crashed and burned on an unknown island, she was on the lamb for blowing up her greasy biological father. Whilst living on the hellish island, she caught herself in the middle of a sexy love triangle between the rugged Sawyer and the doctor and leader, Jack. Lucky bitch.

Personally, I think Evangeline has everything. Her body is muscular, but somehow still curvy. Her face has the cute element of "Freckles" (A.K.A. Sawyer's nickname for her), and yet when she thows on some makeup, it's elegant and classically beautiful. She can pull off the 'rolled around in the mud for 6 months and never showered' look, and 'Emmy Awards glamorous' without even trying.

The girls were easy. Here comes the hard part.

Next up ---> Boys!!!

F to the Y to the I

2007-06-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

Just to let y'all know, my computer has officially breathed its very last breath.

Therefor, I will only be able to update at work *when nobody is actively eyeing me* or when I'm at the aunts house. So I may not be keeping you up to date.... at least until I find a replacement CPU.

However, I am available to update you for today.

The job is going AWESOME.♥ ♥ ♥ I love it to deaths ♥ ♥ ♥ I'm even in the process of using one of their programs to catch up on my rent so that I won't be a street rat! I'll actually have $$ in my pocket this month!! Holy George Michael!!

That's the official word in the world of Katie. I'm supposed to be at the Aunties house this weekend with Booty the wonder dog, so I should have another couple posts.

I heart you guys.

"You can Barak me tonight"

2007-06-16T13:31:00.000-05:00

According to an article on Theonlinewire.com, this video could actually give Senator Barack Obama a boost in his future presidential campaign. I guess this brings up the G-masta's point that a political candidate needs to be sexy.

This girl sure thinks he is.

*Just in case you can't watch the video, here are the lyrics to this song*

You seemed to float onto the floor
Democratic Convention 2004
I never wanted anybody more
Than I want you
So I put down my Kerry sign
Knew I had to make you mine
Smart, black and sexy
You’re so fine

‘Cause I got a crush on Obama
I cannot wait until 2008
Baby, you’re the best candidate
I like it when you get hard on Hillary in debate
Won’t you pick up the phone

‘Cause I got a crush on Obama
I cannot wait until 2008
Baby, you’re the best candidate
Up in the Oval Office
You’ll get your “Head of State”
I can’t leave you alone
‘Cause I got a crush on Obama

You’re into Border Security
Let’s break this border between you and me
Universal Healthcare Reform
It makes me warm
You tell the truth unlike the Right
You can love but you can fight
You can “Barack” me tonight

B to the A to the RACK OBAMA….

Update I'm Sleepy

2007-06-06T15:07:00.000-05:00

My new jobbie job is here.

I refuse to go into detail about SNHS. I'm super-superstitous and have irrational fears that I'll jinx myself. I was going to make a pro/con entry, but I have too-often aired such stuff here. If I'm gonna try to be a pro-fesh-i-nalll, it means I will leave my home @ home and my work @ work. It's a two lane, one way street.... going in opposite directions... Oooooh Ya. Can you tell that I'm a tad delirious?!

I'll give ya my little photo of my adorable little cubicle and my yummy little iced coffee. You'll have to make do with that, my sexy bloggernauts.

Other than the jobby job ish, I don't have very much going on.

I've been hanging out with Heidi and her 2 babies... a.k.a. MY DAILY BIRTH CONTROL PILL.

I met up with my friend Ms. Jackie last night to check out an apartment two blocks down the street from my place. We ran into a friend of hers whilst eating, a South American Adonis of epic proportions, who is apparently a chubby chaser. Needless to say, I might have a booty call on board... *shh*

I'll check in with you later.

Oh, and Dora the Explorer is totally a lesbian.

And a tranny. A tranny lesbo.

Good 'nuff for you, G-Masta?!

Good News-ness

2007-06-04T05:55:00.000-05:00

I gots me a jobby job!!

I interviewed for it on Thursday, was notified that I got it on Friday, and I start today (Monday, for my slow readers). As of today, I'm no longer a temp, and in 30 days... well kinda... I'll have real life insurance for big people!

I'll be working for a non profit company as an interviewer for low income people seeking assistance. It'll mostly be processing paperwork before they allow me to interact with the public, but the job should definitely keep me on my toes.

For now, it'll keep me from Boston, but maybe not forever. I'm mostly just happy for a paycheck... Wish me luck!

Mint Credit Card

2007-05-30T12:25:00.000-05:00

Are you shopping around for a new credit card?

How about trying on the Mint Credit Card, I say.

Will it cure my crippling Halitosis, you ask?

Heck no! But this card does offer you 0% on all purchases until January of 2008, 0% on a credit card balance transfer until August 2008 and 0% on balances transferred during October 2008. Up to 7,500 Euro balance. OK, it is from the bank of Scotland, but it's accepted anywhere that takes Mastercard.

The Mint offers online fraud protection, no annual fee, worldwide acceptance, and cool stuff like free and discounted travel deals. There's even a Wine Club, and if you take advantage of it you can have sweet wine sent to you from around the world. That means you'll be getting booze sent to your doorstep. You'll be getting drunk on a global level!

Since I don't know anything about credit checks in foreign countries, you may be eligible even if your number is in the fire engine red zone. You can apply online! Alls you need is your bank account and income information! Give it a go!

i ♥ jim gaffigan

2007-05-29T13:42:00.000-05:00

^^ Hooot Pockets! ^^

I've never really had a Hot Pocket and thought "Wow. I'm really glad I ate that."

I'm always like "I think I'm gonna die." "Did I eat it or rub it on my face?" "My back hurts."

You rarely see the Hot Pocket on a menu when you go out to dinner.

WAITER: For our specials we have a Sea Bass, which is broiled, and we have a Hot Pocket which is cooked in a dirty microwave and it comes with a side of Pepto.
JIM:Is your Hot Pocket cold in the middle?
WAITER: Frozen, but it can be served boiling lava hot.
JIM: Will it burn my mouth?
WAITER: It'll destroy your mouth. Everything will taste like rubber for a month.

There's a vegetarian Hot Pocket, for those of us who don't want to eat meat but would still like diarrhea.

Recently they introduced the 'Breakfast Hot Pocket'. It should be called 'Good morning! You're about to call in sick!'

So now you can have a Hot Pocket for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and be dead for dinner.

^^ Bottled Water^^

I feel kind of silly buying bottled water, maybe I'm too mid western. I'm like "Hey! Hey, ya. I know you can get water free from any faucet, but I want to pay for it. I'm just curious, do you have any air back there? Can I buy your garbage?"

That must've been some weird marketing meeting down in France.

FRENCH GUY #1: How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we can sell those idiots water.
FRENCH GUY#2: Now, I know the Americans are pretty dumb, but they're not gonna buy water.
FRENCH GUY#1: (Laughs maniacally) Oh, yes they are! Let's just tell the Americans the water's from France.

^^ Mexican Food^^

My favorite food is Mexican food. I used to work at a Mexican restaurant in Indiana, and that's where you go for Mexican. Mexican food is great, but as a waiter you'd always have to deal with these stupid questions.

GUY: What is Nachos?
JIM: It's a tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables.
GUY: Oh. Well, what is a burrito?
JIM: It's a tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables.
GUY: Then what's a Tostata?
JIM: Tortilla with cheese, meat, or vegetables.
GUY: Then what's--
JIM: Look! It's all the same! Why don't you just say a Spanish word and I'll bring you something!

Mexican food is great but it's almost like a conspiracy. It's like they had a meeting 200 years ago in Mexico City:

"Hey, look, the reason why I got everyone here is pretty simple. I figured we could rename this entree 7 times and sell it to the North Americans. The French said it would be a good idea."

Bushisms.

2007-05-29T08:56:00.000-05:00

"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die."—speaking with reporters on facing the challenges of war, Washington, D.C., Dec. 7, 2006

"One has a stronger hand when there's more people playing your same cards."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 2006

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."—Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006

"I was not pleased that Hamas has refused to announce its desire to destroy Israel."—Washington, D.C., May 4, 2006

"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone."—Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

"I read the newspaper."—In answer to a question about his reading habits, New Hampshire Republican Debate, Dec. 2, 1999

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

Mo' Funny Photos...

2007-05-28T19:56:00.000-05:00

There must be some kind of way out of here, said the Joker to the Thief.

2007-05-28T10:56:00.000-05:00

I found a possible back up plan.

I'm going to meet with a couple of girls in Charlestown about a room on Wednesday, assuming they don't rent the room out before I even have the chance. If it's a match and I like the place, they are *likely* willing to let me move there in July. If I found a job temporarily and paid my rent up to date when I leave, I would get my security deposit back and could use it to pay them my first months rent.

Charlestown is a beautiful city on the other side of the Boston harbor. There is a T-stop there, and mass transit available. I could work in Boston, and live there for awhile. They seem like really nice girls, but I shall see the whole picture when I meet them.

It could still work out with Heidi, but it's looking like I might not be able to rely on her. She's incredibly hesitant about the move and unmotivated with filling out the housing applications. She did say that if she was able to get housing in Lowell, she would be 100% about the move... I'm not sure that is true. The guy thing still weighs very heavily on her head.

Anyways, there is a definite plan B. Now I've got to find this temporary job to get me up to date. I'm going to rent assistance for help tomorrow.... wish me luck....

Some kinda sign?

2007-05-23T23:45:00.000-05:00

I talked to my buddy Heidi about my enthusiaticly idealistic move to Boston and she sounded a bit skeptical.

But then she hit me with the fact that she had just gotten off of the phone with her father, who asked her to move to Lowell. She hadn't considered it before, but life hasn't been easy on her lately. The job market stinks for her, she's also looking at eviction and equally tired with Manch-antics. We're practically twins in Manchester suckage.

She said that she'd seriously consider moving to Lowell with me. I'd have a friend! Lowell has a train that goes into Boston everyday, and it's own plethera of jobs. My george, it could work! It could really work.

Heidi will be a tough cookie to push in the right direction because of the very bastardly man that has a hold over her... but if she does decide to move with me, it could be the best thing that ever happened to both of us. I could live with her and help her out until she found a good daycare arrangement and I found a kick-ass job. We could be eachothers network.

She said "I think I'm goin' to Boston."

2007-05-23T22:57:00.000-05:00

I'm at a crossroads in my life. I can continue with my current situation and do what I can to stay afloat, or I can take the road less traveled. I think it's time to make a change for the better, because the life I'm living seems to have found its limit.

My friend Jackie is pregnant and she needs to find an inexpensive apartment that suits her needs. My place couldn't be more perfect for her and I think I could move her in pretty quickly. It would lift that huge responsibility off of my chest and allow me to figure out where I'd rather be.

I'd rather be where there are more jobs, more opportunities and more everything. I've had a love affair with Boston since before the first time I ever stepped foot in it. I think that I could be happy there, that I could start a life. If I could find the kind of job I'm looking for and eventually my own apartment, school could even follow.

What is the difference between there and here? I don't know anybody in Boston, but I'm sure I could find friends. Boston has a ridiculously huge network of roommate connections, if I got a job and moved into an apartment with someone likeminded... it could work. It's a start.

I'm looking for a job and at possible roomies... there are a lot of possibilities. It would be a huge change, but something I need to do. The thought of waking up everyday in that city excites me. I could take art classes at the Massachussetts Institute of Art... become a Docent for the Museum of Fine Art... get a decent call center job... find a niche of people who suit me...

What do I have if I stay in Manchester? There are virtually no decent careers that will have me, the people I've maintained friendships with are few and far between, and I've become exhausted with it.

My theme song will be Boston, by Augustana. The second I heard it, I cried, because it's exactly how I've felt for years.

O Snap!

2007-05-21T11:56:00.000-05:00

I've just discovered the BEST WEBSITE EVER.

It defines "urban words", basically city slang, for those of the non-hip Caucasian persuation, like myself. I freaking LOVE it!

Here are my favorite definitions thus far. I'm going to start intergrating these words into conversation. Fo sho.

COUCHING DISTANCE: The distance one can reach without leaving the couch or sofa.
That job is too far; it's not within couching distance.

5 SECOND RULE: An unwritten law dictating that if a food or other consumable item is dropped onto the floor, it may be picked up and eaten within five seconds. The reasoning behind this is that dirt and germs take six seconds to transfer from one surface to another.
"Oops, dropped my popsicle. Five second rule!"
(Procees to pick up dirty-ass rocket pop and suck the lint off of it)

FLAGAPHILE: One who is so patriotic that they would gladly mate with the American flag.
Stephen Colbert is a flagaphile.

HATERTOTS: Like Haterade, the figurative snack you consume when you're hating on someone.
"Man, you need to cut down on all those Hatertots you've been eating."

MEXICAN AVALANCHE: To ejaculate in a woman's hair and then throw her down a flight of stairs.
"That chick took the Mexican Avalanche like a pro-skier."

HOSTAGE LUNCH: Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees whose boss requires them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.
"I was planning on running some errands during lunch, but the VP is keeping us in a meeting. At least he ordered us a hostage lunch."

VALENTINE'S DAY: The reason why so many people are born in November.

I'M NOT GAY SEAT: The empty seat in a movie theater that two males leave between them to show the rest of the audience that they are straight.
"I went to a movie with John and left an I'm not gay seat between us."

REBOOTY: A booty call made with an ex or renewed relationship with an ex.
After they broke up, Joe still called Kate for some rebooty on weekends.

CELEBUTARD: A famous stupid person. Typically refers to the current crop of vapid celebrities.
Celebutard Paris Hilton got the name of her own videogame wrong.

WAM: Walking around money. Monies given by a sugar daddy/momma to be spent freely.
"What? You're out of cash?! Why isn't your man giving you WAM? My man gives me WAM all the time because he knows he won't get booty otherwise."

2007-05-21T07:58:00.000-05:00

I feel obligated to post, even though I currently have no commentees (G!)

Here are some photos I found just for you. Enjoy.

I'd sell my first born to the the devil himself...

2007-05-17T12:53:00.000-05:00

To get a job at this place....

I'm on a temp assignment at a business called Autodesk.

Apparently Autodesk is a major designer of software, quite possibly the major designer of software on the market. The Manchvegas office designs products that assist architechts. The office in Montreal is the most notable because they're the makers of CGI software, used by all of the big guys... such as Disney and Pixar, the 'Spiderman' and 'King Kong' movies, and all types of television commercials.

Before I came to replace an employee, I was not aware of this. I thought that Autodesk was some kind of technical support type place, somehow IT related, because every job I have seen posted was along those lines.

My point to this whole shpeal is to outline the type of company I'm in before I hit you with the big stuff.

The employees here bring their dogs to work. You heard me right. DOGS.

I've seen a black labrador, the sassy little dude from 'Men in Black', a fluffy golden retriever pup, a hotdog dog, and the ugliest poodle on planet Earth. All chillaxin around their owners cubicle.

The funny thing is that I have not yet heard a yelp, snarl or bark from any of the dogs. Not one. I don't know if all the employees have Stepford-ed their pets, but it's starting to freak me out.

Not only that, but I opened the refrigerator in my department to find it fully stocked with beer. All kindsa beer. I must've opened and closed the doors a hundred times, only to come back to Heinies and Buds. Where am I, in Amsterdam? What's next, are they going to start passing around some Mary J?

I'd like to stick around and find out. It doesn't seem that implausible at this point.

I'm not saying I want to work here because of such reasons... I don't actually own a dog and I don't know how well I'd deal with customers whilst boozed up. But, if the company rocks this much on the surface, it's got to be even better on the gooey inside.

You are feeling veeewy sleepy.

It's okay. I'm a licensed hypnotist. Go with it.

Good news!

2007-05-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

The "Fuelmyblog" is finally working!

Now Sour can click on it.

But that means you have to click on it.

Yes. That means YOU.

Now I Tag You.

2007-05-11T18:08:00.000-05:00

Wow, that was a lot of work. I should start working out, I'm already out of breath.

Laurie from that place in Colorodo. Colorodo Laurie.
Get fit dude. Wow, look. Pecks.
Ooo. Pretty Blog. Marvelous Things.
He's from South Africa, like the Dave. Sweet.
Hm. Job Search Advisor. We really need to chat.

I'm formally tagging 5 people that have recently read my blog. There you are, I see you. You're there, just to the right of me.

Here are the rules.

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you're in.
2. List our your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
3. Tag 5 other peole (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they've been tagged.

Tag? I'm it?!

2007-05-11T16:16:00.000-05:00

But I was holding onto the railing and it was clearly declared as the safe zone. Those are the rules. I always abide by the rules. You're a liar if you say otherwise.

Oh, okay. Quit your crying, and quit playing dead, I'll do it. But only because you're a little bit "slow" and I'm alot bored.

I reside in the New England city of Manchvegas, Cow Hampshire, built on the slave labor of textile mills and a large, smelly river. It has an estimated of population of 107,006.

That's way too many people who give their city a nickname in which it has absolutely nothing in common with.

I mean, where are the big glowing lights that state XXX NEKKID BUNS and GET MARRIED IN 60 SECONDS OR LESS OR IT'S FREE?? Where are the endless strips of casinos and hookers? Where THE HELL is the cast of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation?

I don't see it, do you?!

This person tagged me. Here goes.

My Top 5 Places To Eat Are...

1. THE BK LOUNGE. Eggnormous, Meatnormous, cheeesenormous.

It's all about the advertising for Katie. Remember the "Wake Up With The King"commercials? They still reside in my head as possibly the most horrifying and hilarious ads of my time. And it brings me back each and every time.

I'll introduce you to a couple of them, because if you don't know, you should.

And, finally, for your added enjoyment, Dane Cook's BK joke.

Click Play to Begin

More Funny Videos

2. ALOHA RESTAURANT.

This is a place stacked high with Chinese and Polynesian food. But I love it intensely for two reasons and two reasons only. Memories of the G-Fruit and... this...

That's right, it's a Pupu Platter, and it's burning, baby. If Aloha can trust me with booze AND fire, they've automatically earned a spot on my top 5.

3. PAPA JOHNS.

Why? Because I never even have to leave my computer to eat there. That's right, internet ordering. No haggling with the pizza whore on the other end of the phone line, who wants you to buy 6 large pies with a side of chicken sticks smothered in garlic and cheese. As appetising as that sounds, I'd rather not die of a heart attack tomorrow. Give me another 10 or 15, please.

4. The Chinese Food Restaurant in the mall.

That is it's actual name, registered with the Better Business Beareau, as far as I'm concerned. Their General Gau's chicken is the best on the planet, and the free samples are by far... awesome. I know I share this with Sour, but she's spent far too much time with me in our school skipping days at the Mall of NH to not expect this to be on my list. By the way, if there was a top 6, there would be another Chinese food restaurant listed. I have issues.

5. The Dog Bowl.

To my defense, it tasted amazing at the time. Really.
It was just like Dinte Moore beef stew.

Who rocks my socks?

2007-05-11T16:03:00.000-05:00

Payperpost.com, that's who.

I'm getting paid to talk about the website that pays me to talk about stuff. Pretty soon I'll find myself in a parallel universe, where there are bars named Cheers on every corner, yet NOBODY in it knows your name. Freaky.

Why do I love Payperpost so much, you ask? It's an equation that I can really grasp.

KATIE + WORDS FROM KATIE = MONEY FOR KATIE

It's a little thing called blog advertising... I review websites and give them some needed word-of-mouth advertisement, with my own little spin. I encourage all my blogger friends to hop on the PPP train, because I swear to you that it's really easy and pays FOR REALS. Trust me, I wouldn't be doing it if the wasn't actual dollar signs involved.

I've only been posting for about a month and a half, and I've been paid $52.52 and will be paid $41.01 within the next month. Cha-ching!

Seriously. What?!

2007-05-10T19:11:00.000-05:00

Your sister left this comment on Myspace. on MY Myspace. MINE.

Has she been dropping acid in her memories?!

Bid 4 Prizes

2007-05-10T18:55:00.000-05:00

I'm an Ebay freak. It's practically an illness. Even when I don't have money, I find myself looking over the Ebay merch and bidding on stuff I can't afford.. only to cross my fingers in forethought that somebody out there will outbid me for the creepy ceramic kitty.

I have found a solution to my problem: Bid4prizes.com. Instead of bidding up, you bid down. The lowest bid wins the prize, but it must be a bid that nobody else has made. Theoretically, somebody could win a prize for one penny, but I'm sure a lot of people bid for that amount. So it wouldn't be unique, which means you won't win. So don't bid for a penny.

I'm a freak for sweet electronics with *I* as a prefix. Ipod, Imac, Ibook, Itunes... etc... and Bid4prizes has the Iphone - with a 6 month service plan! The Iphone is basically like a Blackberry, but much hotter. It's a mini computer and phone. Get your email, play awesome games, no buttons whatsoever... like a PDA, you just touch it.

Pretty soon we'll have phones that hook into brainwaves and dial on thought command. They shall call it Ithought. And I shall call it Irockin'.

The best part about Bid4prizes it that no matter what you bid, you don't have to pay for it. You just have to place the bid. Then you win it, no shipping no nothing. That's crazy awesome. You have 20 a day, so go get your bid on.

I do sexy things to myself when I'm dancing.

2007-05-03T06:46:00.000-05:00

I'm so in love with this video right now.

Ghetto Weather. Easily my favorite picture of the day.

2007-05-02T20:14:00.000-05:00

You're a dancing queen.Feel that beat from the tambourine.

2007-05-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

I have a story to tell you. It's set at my aunts house, about a year ago, on a warm Saturday night. My loud little elder and I were hanging around and bored out of our skulls.

She looked at me. I looked at her. She had an idea, and it struck her like a match hitting gasoline.

"LET'S GO OUT! TO A CLUB!"

Umn, okay. It was an idea, but I wasn't feeling very bouncy. I didn't bite until she suggested 'THE UPTOWN', one of the seediest bars in Manchvegas. I thought, what the hell. It was interesting enough to chill at a dive bar with the aunt. Maybe I'd get into one of the infamous cat fights and get kicked out with a blood alcohol level of .1000. It could happen, right?

PHOTO OP! The aunt & I are headed for the bar.
It's on like Donkey Kong.

We skiddadled to 'THE UPTOWN' in a rather tiresome fashion. Sipped on Coronas. Got bumped into by men who looked to have just arrived in the country and found the first place that would let them in. Held our skulls with the pain caused by cheap woofers. Watched dirty drunken gals waddle around on a dirty floor, attempting a thing that some may loosely term dancing. It was nearly as boring as sitting in front the boob tube, but with beer.

I cannot possibly describe how hot this makes me.

I spotted a boy near me who looked curiously familiar.

I played the "ABCEFG who the hell are you to me?" game in my head, until he said a little hello.... it hit me. He was a boy at West High School that I had thought of as vile. He irked me to the point that I would do and say mean things just to keep him from hanging out at my lunch table. There was something about the way he spoke, dressed and acted that got under my skin.

Yet, something in the boy standing in front of me, chatting me up, had changed. He was hot. Not just attractive, but sure of himself. Like he had grown a shiny new set of balls. He'd gone into the military and had come out a man, a man that seemed genuinely interested in me.

My aunt came along, decidedly annoyed with the club, and dragged me home. I remember that as I was leaving, I felt like I was walking away from something interesting. I regretted not swapping numbers with him. It took a couple months, but I tracked down his Myspace and left a message. And, now, nearly a year later, we've made plans to meet up.

I'm nervous about it because it has been so long, and I don't know if what I saw will still be there. I suppose I'm nervous for a million different reasons, but I have to get over it.

I thought I should tell you about this, because you are my nearest and dearest friend. Nobody in the real world listens to me like you do. Thank you for being so understanding, dear fake people.

I was so disturbed by this that it was only
appropriate to share it with you. Enjoy.

*UPDATE* I started talking to him, and it turns out that he has a girl friend. Yes, just my luck. I know. The guy from the restaurant hasn't called with plans, and I must wait a week to call him back for the sake of not seeming pushy. My love life has all but dissipated.... pathetically. Please, somebody give me a hug.

"5 Cents Per Hair. That's My Final Offer."

2007-04-30T18:51:00.000-05:00

I've been chatting with this boy that is obsessed with my hair.

Every sentence is "How long is it?" and "My, that's a perty blond wig you got on ya." so on and so forth. He asked if I'd meet up with him for drinks sometime, so OF COURSE, I was forced to ask this inevitable question.

katiewnh: Are you a black market hair bidder? Are you going to take me out for a drink, put a roofie in my vodka... as I wake up groggy, confused... and bald?

This brought me right back to a fond memory, which I will share with my G-Masta. Do you recall that fairly robotic boy with the long, luscious locks? Does chasing him around, screaming expletives and numbers at him? If not, here's my explanation to my other IM partner.

katiewnh: My bestest bud used to do that. It was hilarious. There was this really weird dude at a store we worked at with amazing and just horrendously beautiful shiny long hair.

katiewnh: And she'd walk behind him really slowly, ask him questions. Like "If I paid you a hundred dollars, would you let me sell your hair on the black market?"

katiewnh: Chase him with scissors.

Coming back to memory yet? My conversation continues.

katiewnh: His reaction was the funniest part. He'd look at her like she was an alien, and somehow pull off looking like one himself.

katiewnh: He was the kind who has had very little actual interaction, so when she would pat his head and coo underground biddings in his ear, he'd just sit there quietly... kind of confused.

katiewnh: And then run away.

Good times, good times.

Check out Person.com, baby.

2007-04-30T18:22:00.000-05:00

Are you tired of all the old sites, like Myspace and Facebook? How about trying something new?

If you have a webcam and want to 'connect' with people, this is a rockin' new way to try it out. And you won't end up chatting with HotGalSusan or RichardBiggums and be forced to pay to see 'em on a pre-recorded video. Oh no. It's all for reals. Which, by the way, I never did that. And that is my final statement, so if you try to say otherwise, I'll sue you for libel. I will. Don't make me.

You can create video confrences and have fun with friends, get involved in a "play and flirt" game, or broadcast yourself in public mode for all to see. Don't believe me? Check it out!

Person.com - webcams, chat, personals

It comes highly recommended by the Katster.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

Oh, yes, she did just say that.

2007-04-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

I've transcribed a part of the video for my friend who cannot watch it, because she is at work. This is my favorite moment from all three videos due to the the slow realization that the mother is finally arriving to. So here you go, G, enjoy.

Alexis: I want to ask you right now, if you’re not standing at attention, to stand in Vagina Power and manifest your destiny.

You know this is October, and in a few days we’ll be in Halloween. So I was thinkin’, I usually don’t celebrate Halloween, go trick or treatin’ anymore, but all girls need to go out and buy a costume.

And the costume I am choosing to stand in Vagina Power in is a pilot. I’m piloting the pussy! See, you need to be a pilot of the pussy, y’all!

Y’all gots to be the pussy PO-lice! Cause if you don’t be careful, these men that y’all are commitin’ to is giving the dick away that’s got to go up in yo’ vagina! The vagina is not safe, cause the men that we have designated to be our men cannot be trusted!

They done taken the wedding ring off they finger. They scared because they’re afraid that the wedding band is going to be a noose around their nuts! I mean a true Nut Bracket. To lock them in and keep them in check so they can’t give it no nobody else.

So a lot of them have not only taken the wedding band off their finger, they done taken the wedding band off they nuts!

[interrupted by a loud, high pitched sigh in the background]

Alexis: Oh, scuse me, but my mother’s here with us. Do you have a comment?

[horror plastered across the mothers face as she looks carefully at her daughter]

Mother: No, I aint sayin’ nothin’. I didn’t say nothin’.

Alexis: Did you want to say something to add to my program?

Mother: I wasn’t ready for no “Vagina Police”. Salute th-

[Alexis raises hand to forehead]

Alexis: SALUTE THE VAGINA!

Mother: No. You didn’t just say that.

Dick will make you slap somebody.

2007-04-26T09:07:00.000-05:00

I have to thank Michelle Collins from You Can't Make It Up for pointing this out on her blog. This has got to be the most ridiculously hilarious video I have ever seen on Youtube.

I think I'm moving to Atlanta so that I can watch their public access television.

This is all I heard. Katie took notes for you.

All Penises are not created equal. Penis Power.
Now her mind aint good, cause he done ejaculated his penis all up in her brain. She gone crazy.
That girl is lonely. Her vagina is cold.
Some men just have so much heat and energy in their penis, that you can just feel it radiating through they clothes. It’s on fire!
This man won’t even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver’s, and that plate’s like what, 2.99? But he can give you a mouth full of sperm?
All this man is offering you is a side of penis.
He is using his penis as a weapon to break her ass down.

Part 2.

Katie breathe. Wait. Can't. Stop. Laughing. Okay. More notes for you.

If the man ain't comin', he gonna be goin' somewhere else, puttin' his penis in someone else.
The penis is a heat-seeking missile, like a rocket. Information is encoded in it making it do what it do. It already knows its position.
When the parts of penis hit them vagina walls, harmonizing and making them sing, a woman feels like she's in church jumping and shouting.
Because he's in love with your vagina, that does not mean he is in love with you.
A lot of time we run up on the penis that has all this power in it. That rocket. Launch it up in the vaginal canal.

Part 3.

The final segment of these installments. I can't even breathe long enough to take notes on this. Just. watch. O. M. F. G.

The stamp on my ticket to Hell.

2007-04-25T20:42:00.000-05:00

katiewnh (9:39:15 PM): It's pretty bad when I scream "BITCH!" at a parapalegic.

SalBroadhill (9:39:26 PM): Hmm.
SalBroadhill (9:39:38 PM): That's impressive.

katiewnh (9:39:47 PM): And envy her. And want to steal her wheelchair and breathing device.

SalBroadhill (9:40:25 PM): What, does she have platinum spinner rims, diamond encrusted valves, and a gold grill?

katiewnh (9:40:16 PM): Dave Matthews should be my Make-A-Wish.
katiewnh (9:40:27 PM): That bitch.

SalBroadhill (9:40:59 PM): You realize you seem like a crazy person?

katiewnh (9:41:26 PM): I am a crazy person. Have you learned nothing?!

Look at that flashy top. Does she have no shame?!

I know I don't....

Globalfutures.com

2007-04-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

I am here today to talk to you about Forex Trading.

What the heck is that?! You ask, impolitely. Forex is short for Foreign Exchange, cute, huh? According to my sources, it exists wherever one currency is traded for another and is the largest kind of market in the world.

I am also here to talk to you about a little thing called Futures as it relates to Forex Trading. It basically has to do with the way that the money is exchanged and the length of time it takes for the money to get from hand to hand. Futures is based on contracts with typical durations of 3 months, in contrast to a thing called Spot, which is a lot faster.

Basically if you are dealing with Forex Trading and Futures, then the suit you are looking for is Globalfutures.com. They have goodies like free live simultaneous trading accounts, several trading systems to choose from, live online support, and a 'name your own commission' deal. If this little economic lesson peaked your interest, and you were looking for somewhere to stack your funds, this is the site I recommend for you to visit. You can get started for as low as 250$, which is practically chump to even the most conservative investor.

global futures

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

The answer is yes. I really do rock that much.

2007-04-24T19:44:00.000-05:00

I was checking out the stats on my Cluster Map, for the *ahem* awaited hit, and something occurred to me.

I have some serious questions that call for serious answers.

I have readers from China. CHINA.

Jesus-Mary-And-Joseph! There's an implication to that, isn't there? It means that there are people out there reading my words in Chinese characters. Now, from my experience with foreign languages, I know that there can be issues with the translation.

Could there be some people out there seriously misinterpreting my rants?! And what exactly do they see in translation? Most importantly, what does my name look like in Chinese characters? Does it look as awesome as I do? This interests Katie greatly.

Your thoughts, in the form of comments [not telephathy, I've yet to sharpen that skill], would be highly appreciated ♥

Hey reckless mind, Don't throw away your playful beginnings.

2007-04-24T13:03:00.000-05:00

My day has been interesting, as always, so I've decided that the best thing to do is share it with you kind folks. Take from it what you will.

It began last night, really, when the thought got into my head that I'm supposed to be a blond. I was suddenly hit with the idea that at least some of my troubles could be blamed on my red toned hair. It was like there was a wig on my head that was intruding on my personality... it didn't fit in and it had to go.

On the night before my second interview with Anthem [That's right, they made me come back], I decided I could perform best if I was a platinum baby once again. I went with the lightest blond I could find, so that all traces of my former hair colors would be bleached the heck away. Can you smell the disaster yet? Isn't there a heaviness to the air, like driving past a field of cows?

My head became a patchy spectrum of whitish blond, pinkish red and light auburn hair. I resembled some kind of colorful popsicle dissolving on a sidewalk. It. was. ridiculous.

I left the house at 1am, thinking that I could run into Stop N' Shop, because if the South Willow location was run around the clock then it was reasonable to assume that this one was as well. Well, it wasn't. The interview was the following morning, and I'm not the fastest turtle alive. It wasn't looking good for me, in accordance with the going theme of my life.

I slept for about 3 solid hours, raced to the grocery store, and chose the next scalp burning colorant with hesitancy. I thought, shouldn't I just dye it brunette again? No, that would put me back to square one and I'll end up in a salon a month from today spending 200 dollars to get the right look. Well, what about a deep red? Then there'd be another CIA operative on my skull looking to terrorize my life. Can't have that.

I settled on a dark blond, with the hope that it would deepen and tone the white hair, neutralize the reds and blend in with the light auburn. I hereby formally thank every saint in every religion there has ever been; I'll even kiss the icons, sacrifice a goat and eat the cardboard bread. My hair came out looking exactly how I wanted it. Well, it's still a little redder than I'd prefer it to be, but in the sun it's actually pretty blond. It's quite amazing, in retrospect. I went to my interview with actual confidence, and I walked out of it feeling calm and calculative. As a side note, I'm performing every interview with 3 hours sleep. I rocked.

Crisis averted. What to do next? Eat Chinese, of course. I went to the buffet after purchasing 'The Tropic of Capricorn' from the classical section of Elm's used book store. I sat near two cute guys, both at single tables, with books in front of them from the same store. We ended up in a three way [get your mind out of the gutter] conversation about how we had averted books in high school, and found them irresistible in adulthood. As I left, for the first time in my life a boy that flirted with me actually followed through. He asked me out and gave me his number.

The funny thing is that I think it was because of my hair. Maybe I'm just crazy.

I EVEN TOOK SOME GLAMOR SHOTS JUST FOR YOU.
IT'S LIKE I'M THE JOURNALIST AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER.
You love me so much more right now, don't you?!

I ♥ The Hippo

2007-04-23T23:05:00.000-05:00

Hippo Press is the foremost freebie newspaper for the Manchester and Nashua area, as well as most New Hampshire towns. Katie is a fan. It is generally around 60 pages long, packed with funny and informative stuff, and did you hear me...it's free. It makes me feel more connected to my sometimes unlovable city because the writers actually discuss the issues that affect us on a daily basis, like the state of our parks and roads, instead of the ones at stake for local politicians.

This Hippo-------------------------------------------------------------------->Not this Hippo.

Like the big hysteria started by our Union Leader about stiffening the drinking licenses on local bars and making every frigging place smoke free. I mean, our state is officially red now, isn't it?! I didn't wake up amongst hush-hush but aggressive Conservatives, did I?! Did I?!

As for the big bad U.L., it kind of has a monopoly on the big news of the day. But we can catch those types of stories on the televised news, and heck, the internet these days. Most of what is seen on that thin paper is usually just a reiteration of what we've already found out at 6am when we're done checking our emails and channel surfing.

But, really, The Hippo is a weekly newsreel that mostly focuses on who's doing what during the weekend? and how do we feel about our city?

I decided to give you some excerpts from two of the latest issues of the Hippo, to further prove why I'm such a fan.

[[from the New of the Weird section]]

My Official Nickname, From This Day Forward.
Kevin Russell, 21, was arrested in Hobart, Ind., in February when he went to a chase bank and tried to cash a Bank One check for $50,000. The check was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

Draw Me A Time Machine, So I Can Come Back And Kick Your Ass.
Traditional Chinese celebrations have been mentioned several times in News of the Weird, including the annual Tomb Sweeping Festival in April, which calls on people to visit relatives' graves and leave offerings that will improve the afterlives of the deceased. Actual objects (such as jewelry and money) are no longer required, as paper representations are considered just as effective. This year, according to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, paper illustrations of dancing girls will adorn many graves, along with paper "Viagra" pills, and even more questionably, paper renditions of condoms.

This Puts A Whole New Ring To The Word "Concubine".
According to a Beijing Youth daily report distributed by Reuters News Service in February, an unidentified Chinese businessman posted an online job offer for a "substitute" mistress. That is, in order to save his marriage, he had agreed to allow his wife to beat up his mistress and thus needed a stand-in to absorb the whipping, to spare the real mistress. He offered equivilent of about 400$ per minute of pain.

[[from the Quality of Life Survey section]]

Four Seasons? Try Forty.
After about 16 hours of constant dripping and splashing and pelting of water and sleet, you think there must be an end in sight, but you wake up with statewide flood warnings and wind gusts that sound like the high-powered drying in the drive-thru car wash. You step outside and within five minutes it rains on you, and then ices on you. You start wondering how much of your back yard will drown, and if the yard is floating away, how are the farms and beaches holding up? And then you see the worms floating in puddles between ice floes in your driveway and you think, ewwwwww. Also, ice and worms? That's like having wrinkles and acne simultaneously... and although it does happen, it's just not fair.

The thrill of it all.

2007-04-23T06:55:00.001-05:00

The concert is over and Katie has mixed reviews. There is, as usual, good news and bad news.
Which would you like me to hit you with first? I thought so...

GOOD NEWS

I have a list of songs that I've created, mostly in my head, but also on Myspace. It consists of all the songs I've desired to hear live *solo, especially* since I've been a fan of Dave. Here is the set list from last night, I've highlighted the songs that have been wonderfully knocked of my top 20 list.

1. BARTENDER
2. DODO
3. STAY OR LEAVE #15
4. CRUSH
5. OLD DIRT HILL #11
6. GRACE IS GONE
7. SO DAMN LUCKY
8. GRAVE DIGGER
9. THE STONE #2
10. SISTER
11. LIE IN OUR GRAVES
12. OH #17
13. SAVE ME #6
14. STREAM (TIM)
15. CORN BREAD
16. DOWN BY THE RIVER
17. THE MAKER
18. JIMI THING
19. WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME (partial song, so it doesn't technically count)
20. PANTALA NAGA PAMPA
21. STILL WATER
22. DON'T DRINK THE WATER
23. #41
24. DANCING NANCIES #5
25. SOME DEVIL
26. LITTLE THING
27. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
28. TWO STEP

Basically, the concert itself was beautiful. It was Dave, solo, for the first time I've been able to witness it. There were some songs I'd already heard live and some I didn't care to hear. Mostly, it was a beautiful set.

To add to it, Dave gave long, adorable monologues about his opinion on the hideous sounds he makes during laughter... farting in public and being stuck in a bathtub while his dog gave a gas storm... that he wasn't responsible for anything he said because he had a fever. He stopped a few times and appeared to feel himself up, while explaining that he was looking for his cell phone and that he never turned it on anyways... but he still needs it for emergencies, like if a relative was stuck in a car submerged in a lake and called his disabled phone for help. He re-established that he was afflicted with a fever.

He picked on the boys that scream and howl at him, while explaining to the girls that it was 'pent up caveman-like emotion' and we should forgive them because it's actually 'quite sweet when you think about it'.

The seat I had wasn't the greatest. It wasn't the worst in the house, but Dave face wasn't visible at all. Half of the fun of the show *for Katie, anyways* is watching him sing. But the security was extremely lax and seemed mostly student employed, so toward the end of it I was successfully able to infiltrate the "good seats" and watch him from an incredible angle.

This is where the good news ends.

BAD NEWS

I brought just enough money to stay in a motel room overnight.

That's all, that's it. Good deal, right? Wrong. The money I brought for the motel was all the money I had, period. I had made some heavy food items, but I was still hungry and antsy. I knew I was going to be flat broke when I got home.

The motel manager had told me the latest I could check in was 10 or 11pm, but I arrived in Amherst at about 20 minutes to 8. My concert was at 8. There was no way that I was going to be able to reserve my room and be back at the show before it was half over. Even with a map, I only had a general idea of where the motel was, because Umass Amherst is huge. I've seen some towns in New Hampshire the size of that campus. I got lost several times while asking students directions and was still late for the concert.

The show got out at midnight. I hadn't checked into the motel and therefor had no place to stay. It was unseasonably warm out and the school was highly populated, so I decided that it was an okay plan B to stay up all night there. I mean, it was sort of like getting paid to stay awake and it didn't seem like the worst conditions to do it in. It was Saturday night, a time of parties and whatnot, so I wasn't alone and it wasn't like I've never stayed awake before. I worked a third shift job just last year.

By about 1:30am, the temperature started to drop and by 2 it couldn't have been more than 20 degrees outside. I could see my breath.

The 6 hour trip had worn me down-- I was tired and absolutely frozen.

I decided to maybe try to find a flippin' Denny's or something. I mean, Amherst is supposed to be a city, and even trash towns have some kind of fast food all-night eateries. Not Amherst. I finally ended up in a 24-hour ATM room and I slept off and on for about 3 or so hours. I was paranoid that a cop would see me and kick me out like some street person. It was bright and eerie, occasionally a passerbyer knocked on the window to make sure I was alive. I was officially a hobo.

It took me the entire next day to get the frozen feeling out of my bones. I slept uncomfortably on most of the trip back and ate crappy fast food at the stops like a wild dog. My head was spinning from the memory of the previous night. It was scary for me; not the part about being mostly alone and awake in a foreign place, but the feeling that I really was homeless. If I'm not careful, I could end up in that situation. It hit home.

I've had the fear put in me. I'm going to find a job, now, even if it's a crap job. I'm going to seek all the assistance that I can, no matter how degrading it feels. Even if I have to work at Mcdonalds and watch the 'Rent Assistance' counselor count every penny I earn. I only have a couple months before I'm supposed to be at Anthem, so it's just about getting through until then.

The concert was good, but being a hobo wasn't a positive feeling. Maybe it had positive implications, anyways.

Wish me a good-good time!

2007-04-21T09:20:00.000-05:00

I'm off to my little trip to Amherst in about an hour.

I'll let you know what disaster might have occurred before, after or during.

For now, I'm optimistic.

HotelReservations.com

2007-04-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

You've probably heard of Hotels.com, Travelocity.com and Priceline.com, but have you had a chance to check out this Hotel Reservations site? It's got a lot to offer. This is coming from the trusted voice of Katie, and Katie always knows.

So, please, my little children, sit and have a listen. I have a story to tell you.

I'm on way to Amherst, Massachusetts tomorrow for my concert, and I'm going to be stuck there overnight. I searched on every website I could think of to get a cheap room, and there was next to nothing affordable. Finally, I found a place in a directory and called a suitable place myself. No website used.

To my dismay, I find that HotelReservations.com has a wealth of hotels in the area that I could have chosen, had I only known about the website. They have tools that the other popular sites don't have, like special internet rates that beat out the competition, a 100 dollar rebate special for booking and even a detailed city guide. I'm totally bumming on my loss.

I noticed that this website isn't limited to just hotels. No, sir. You can choose to book flights, cars, vacation rentals or entire vacation packages. For instance, you may be looking for a flight and hotel for 5 days and 5 nights next month in the beautiful city of London. You can spend as low as 913$ to stay at the Strand Palace. Did you hear me? You could stay at a palace for under a grand, for 5 nights! I'm sold.

Or if you're looking for just the flight and car because you're secret Irish lover has a place for you to stay, think about HotelReservations.com for it. You're look at paying only 794$ for the trip. I've been talking to an adorable Dublin boy named Henry, and this is making me consider hopping on a flight to meet his sexy bottom.

Check out the website, it is impressive.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

All things very white that are NOT Katie.

2007-04-19T11:10:00.000-05:00

AND I QUOTE:

"Katie dear you're as pasty white as a bottle of Elmer's glue. I don't think you'd make the cut here...."

And you call yourself a friend!

THIS IS A BOTTLE OF ELMER'S GLUE

THIS IS HOW WHITE I REALLY AM.

I AM, HOWEVER, NOT THIS WHITE.
*to clarify, the whiteness of Jessica is in her teeth.
Somebody get that girl a coffee and a carton of cigarettes! Stat!

AND AS A RESULT, I AM NOW CRAVING...
A WHITE RUSSIAN...

By the way...

2007-04-19T09:28:00.000-05:00

I'm using Google Adsense, so if you want to lend Katie a hand, play around with the search engine! I could love very much!

I might even let this kid kiss you!

Personal Home Loan Morgages

2007-04-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've witnessed the undoing of a few folks that went at it alone on mortgage loans. There are too many opportunities to choose from, and no streamline of what is good and what is bad. If the gal or lad taking out the loan isn't educated on how interest rates work, the importance of the down payment and the type of lenders that are out there- they could be easy prey. How many times have people been given a bad deal because they went with the first offer they got?

Are there trained professionals who help handle these types of decisions, and can point a good fellow in the right direction? Is there somebody out there that can educate and help choose the best mortgage for an individual?

Mortgage Brokers, that's who. They can give you the current daily average of mortgage rates throughout the country. Mortgage brokers, specifically the brokers at Colorado Mortgages have tools that let you research local housing trends and market statistics. They even have the ability to help you leverage your home equity to pay off other debts, once you have bought a house, of course.

If you're anything like me and considering moving to the Boston area, these brokers are the guys for you. They can distinguish if the big city is best, or a smaller city around the metro area might be more fitting. There are 15 locations in the state full of professionals looking to talk to you.

Or maybe you really have the urge to sing "Rocky Mountain High" from the roof of your house. The best place to do that? Well, there's nowhere better than Colorado for such a bold act. If you agree, I advise for you to click this link and talk to the professionals in the rockin' state of Colorado.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

My Reaction To The Virginia Tech. Massacre.

2007-04-17T21:11:00.000-05:00

In my poor poorness, I've been plagued with a case of the non-cable. I didn't know anything about the Virginia Tech shooting until I happened upon it on a news site. I was, of course, horrified to tears.

I remember Columbine. I think those who were in high school at the time will always remember it. Not just because of the horror of it, but because of how it came to literally effect us. There were speeches, hand outs and fire drills on a nearly constant basis. For the following 6 or so months, the "Trench Coat Mafia" and "Those Crazy Kids In Colorado" became a part of our regular vocabulary. There was good old American finger pointing and over reaction. Then the topic entirely disappeared. That bothered me.

This brings us up to 2007, almost seven years ago to the day. It's been pretty quiet in the world of school shootings, so it seems that the country has had it's guard down. No more scary fire drills twice a week and no more extra security measures.

Suddenly, this kid at Virginia Tech brings it all bubbling back to the surface.

What bothers me is that there were two shootings, with enough time to grill and release a suspect. There was no evacuation, no worry. They actually decided to warn people via the internet. Now, I spend a lot of time online, but it still took me a day to uncover this information and it was everywhere. It's already got its own Wikipedia page. It just wasn't enough to stick to emails, since it obviously didn't do any good.

Could some of the carnage have been prevented had Columbine been six months ago? Is security only tightened when it's directly related to a current event? What does it take to feel safe from the possibility of getting murdered in a classroom, high school or otherwise?

The two most prevalent examples didn't occur in a ghetto, they occurred in suburbia. Shouldn't this show that nobody is safe, and that the worst case scenario should always at least be considered? I'm not saying that there should be a Patriot Act for the school system, just that these schools have made clear mistakes that should not be repeated.

I'm sure that Virginia Tech is going to be scrutinized, and it isn't alone. I guarantee that he could have accomplished his task at any school in the country. The question is, does it have to take the worst mass murder in American history to take the necessary precautions, all the time?

Until today, I was unsure about my take on gun control. I am official for it.

Katie's Top 5 : Aqua Teen Hunger Force Edition

2007-04-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

For those of you that don't have cable or the good taste to watch Cartoon Network, here is Katie's introduction to the hilarious ATHF. Enjoy. It's meaty.

1. I'M JUST A WHAT, BITCH?!

2. MMM, YEAH. PUT 'EM ON THE GLASS.

3. "JUST WAIT UNTIL RAMPITUP46 HEARS ABOUT THIS."
"WHO'S THAT?"
"HELLO. THE CHAT ROOM. I HAVE A LIFE."

4. WE SHALL FIND HIS AGE. CUT HIM IN HALF AND COUNT HIS RINGS!

5. THAT'S A GOOD SMOKER.

2007-04-17T07:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Katherine:

Thank you for your interest and the time you spent discussing the position of Customer Service Center Representative in the Customer Service Call Center.

Your background and qualifications have been carefully reviewed. Having completed the review and the interview process, I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected to remain in our active candidate pool and will be considered for future openings.

Again, thank you for your interest in PSNH and we hope to be contacting you soon.

I've been waiting for the contacting you soon part of this deal for about a week. I was overly optimistic about this email when it first opened, and after a week of waiting, it's made me a lot more pessimistic. Before I interviewed, the Human Resources lady told me that I had to be 'chosen for the pool' in order to get the job.

I've been chosen for the pool. Woo hoo, and all that. The problem is that every minute that passes without word is another minute of my brain cells destroyed in angsty worry. I need this job, but not only that, I want this job. It's Katie's golden egg, her saving grace... the possibility of a life. On top of my issues of the moment, this 'pool' thing might be weighing on me heaviest of all.

I mean, I'm trying to be more positive about it, and to not think about it in general. Got any advice?

Millionsaver.com

2007-04-17T06:36:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been thinking about moving. Manchester, NH has become more exhausting and unsubstantial to me by the day. I'm thinking, if Manchvegas doesn't work out for me, maybe the actual Vegas will! I had a co-worker at one of my temp jobs who applied and was hired to work in a huge casino, and if she could do it, why can't I?

I've been reading up, and it seems that the big LV has so much more to offer than the little NH of my current residency. There are places to snow ski and water ski. Whodathunk?! There's hiking and golf, and of course, plenty of sand to throw around at the tourists (once you're an official Vegasite). It seems that there are jobs by the ton, and like my current city, no income tax. Maybe that's the real connection that bridges Manchester to Vegas? Maybe it's the legal buying of usually illegal services? The buffets?

Sure, I'd likely be joining Gamblers Anonymous within a month and a half of residence, because I'd be spending every paycheck at the Craps tables. But there is always that wonderful catch phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!". So if I screw up, the only person that would have to know is me, right?!

Anyways, if I will seriously consider moving to the infamous City of Sin, I will seriously use Las Vegas real estate to sell me a rockin' house in the area. Their website is impressive, with a telling review from the highly reliable newspaper USA Today:

"Most agents who show you homes don’t represent your interests. They work for the builder or seller, and their object is to sell the house at the highest possible price."

In closing, I think that if you are considering a move to the bright lights of Vegas, you should consider using these real estate guys to check out the local homes. They look pretty dependable to Katie, and Katie has a good eye for such stuff.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

It's made of sweets and joy. And joyness.

2007-04-13T17:19:00.000-05:00

My official WTF video of the day.

Does anyone else find themselves dancing uncontrollably to the weird letter music? I think I might still be jigging a little.

Secure Insurance

2007-04-13T14:34:00.000-05:00

Home Owner Insurance Quotes

Residents of Arizona and Nevada need home insurance more than anyone else. Why, you ask? Well, Katie will tell you. Sit your dusty desert fanny down and have a little listen, will ya?

And stop questioning your elders. It's disrespectful.

What does house insurance cover that would relate to these two states specifically, you ask?

Didn't I tell you to sit down?! SIT. And listen like a good little cactus.

Why, in the event of a fire, home insurance would be most helpful. With the dry heat of the desert region, those two states would be extremely susceptible to el fuego de homo.

That's not Spanish for house on fire? Well, it is now.

**The point is, my loyal readers of Arizona and Nevada residency needs to check out this website if they want their homes safely covered in the case of this likely occurrence**

Home Owner Insurance Quotes

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

Rehabilitation at Stone Hawk.

2007-04-10T15:42:00.000-05:00

We've all had our addictions, whether they be minor or life threatening. Imagine one of your little addictions, say to chocolate bunnies or impulse clothes shopping, and multiply that by a billion. Personally, it's difficult for me to imagine the nerve that it would take to admit the problem and to overcome it.

Stone Hawk Rehabilitation Center in south central Michigan is a place where those with dependencies on alcohol, narcotics or otherwise can naturally turn around their lives. The facility uses natural supplementation to help eliminate the dependency without the use of psychiatric intervention. It is a place where people are helping people, without a doctor breathing heavily over their shoulders, sitting in their cushy lives, judging them.

narconon explains:

"Stone Hawk clients are not considered to be patients. We instead refer to them as students, since they are simply learning to take back control of their lives without drug abuse or alcoholism. This distinction is made because a Stone Hawk addiction treatment student is there to learn about what it takes to be free of drug addiction and alcoholism; not to be treated for a disease or an illness. The student will learn about substance abuse, and how to move on with life without it. In essence, students are taught new skills for living life."

If there is anyone in your life who has an addiction, refer them to this clinic as a possible alternative. The typical program may take between four to six months and it is not a place where they feel 'commited'. It's about recovering on their own terms, with people that understand what they're going through.

* I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

DISCLAIMER: This is a rant.

2007-04-09T04:33:00.000-05:00

With 'Simpsons' visuals.
Like a bitter children's book!

Leaving U.S. Cellular is really a blessing in disguise. They let me go, and in the most pathetic way humanly possible.

Yet a week or so ago, one of my bosses informed me that he was going to hire me. I was flattered by the news, but not falling over myself with it. He had announced this in front of a co-worker, who didn't look enthused about the idea.

My theory? She heard what my boss said as they'll hire her and she might be yet another Sales Rep. and I'll make less money. In her infinitely selfish agenda, she began to conspire against me. Why? Because less money for her means less Coach bags and Gloria Jean iced coffees from the mall.

On Saturday, April 7th, at 10am, the more powerful of my two managers called me over to his office in a "By the way, just got a little something to say to ya!" kind of way. Winning the award for MOST NON CHALANT FIRING EVER, he stated, in strained upbeat-ish speech "Uhhh... the company decided to go with another temp agency."

"So that's it?" I asked in utter confusion. He replied with eyes glued to the carpet, that it was, in fact, it.

This is the sexier version of what I looked like.

To put it lightly, my eyes became the water faucets from hell. All of the temp jobs that let me go in the past marched through my brain at that very moment, and became one long train of emotion. And like the children-men that they were, they proceeded to weave their lie to me further.

"Our hands are tied. It was a company decision."
"We can't hire anyone right now."
"It's nothing you did. We won't give you a bad reference."

I hadn't paid one red cent on April's rent. I had my concert in two weeks. I hadn't had cable in months and my electricity was looking to be severed very shorty. It wasn't a pretty picture set in front of me.

I went home, found out that I was brewing up a case of Tonsillitis, and spent the rest of the weekend drowning in television and sleep. By Monday, I was nervous but ready to speak to Kelly and pray they had another temp job, despite my hatred for the work.

Kelly Services hadn't been given the news that I'd be let go, so they called my boss to hear what they had to say about it. My manager actually said that I'd MISUNDERSTOOD THEM and that they'd decided to go in another direction because of a PERSONALITY CONFLICT.

Everything they told me that day was a lie. What I wonder is, did they really expect me to tell Kelly Services nothing of their speech? I'm assuming they didn't care because it's one scorned temp versus the company Kelly needs as a client.

I would have had some respect for them if they had told me the truth.

In the end, I'm not going to miss haggling for them to train me, or feeling the angst of liking them but sort of not liking them. It just seems unfair that they let me go because of a supposed problem with one of the employees. I mean, that little hole of a place is just full of personality conflicts way beyond what I posed.

This could quite literally be "C's" Simpson twin. "C" ♥s old people.

"C" has a way with people, and it isn't always a good way. She has this falsetto voice that she uses on everyone, employees and customers alike, which can make them feel like they're unbelievably stupid and have some kind of hearing impairment. This frustrates my former co-workers more so than customers, because a big chunk of the customers are stupid and deaf.

When she's supposed to be teaching, she can't help but take the wheel and drive without actually explaining what she's doing. "C" is known as the woman who single handedly pushed a co-worker to stark raving mad status- a woman named Debbie that transferred to another store with barely her limbs intact.

She's infamous as the 'sales stealer', jumping on every customer that walks through the door like a tiger to it's prey.

Fah-looz-ehy.

"K" is the biggest finger pointer on the planet, next to the 4 year old I used to babysit. And to be a finger pointer, you generally should have all your ducks in a row. But not "K". She's the kind of vapid blond who acts like all customers should come to her and kiss her feet. Whenever she's asked to help out in any way, it's like she's Atlas, holding the world on her shoulders. She has no idea what responsibility or hard work actually is, doing everything she can to escape it.

She's kind of the 'Gabrielle Solice' of that 'Wisteria Lane', with a little bit of 'Edie' mixed in.

"D" personified.

"D" might be one of the biggest complainers I've met in quite some time, next to me, of course. The most commonly uttered words from his mouth? I need to quit smoking. I need to lose weight. My wife is insane. My life sucks. Waah. Waah. Waah.

He airs his dirty marriage laundry around, in one example literally yelling at his wife on the phone just outside of customer viewing range - but not outside of hearing range. He's moody and not unlike "K", avoids his primary job, helping people, at all times.

This is the story of a backwoods hick
who wished she was a very lovely girl.

"E" completely freaks out at any time that she has to do something by herself, and in retrospect, at anything even mildly stressful. She needs constant back patting, and can't grasp even the simplest concepts.

She's odd, and has taken a step even beyond the un-professionalism active in the store by bringing in and showing off a Playboy mag like a horny teenage boy. That's right, kids, Playboy. Meaning, the kind with naked girls. Did I mention she's heavily involved in a relationship with a guy? To each his own... but... it's still not appropriate to flaunt around work.

"E" has very little femininity whatsoever. She's sloppy, a little dirty, has no clue what makeup is, and is more involved in things like NASCAR to be anything but a guy with boobs. Yet every time "K" comes around, she starts whining about how she broke her nail or how crowded the mall was the one time in her life she'd seen it. It's damn near retarded.

But, ah, such is the life of a temp, right?

I still have the two jobs on the horizon, with a recently huge step in the positive for PSNH. I have another temp job lined up with higher pay, so I can't be that bitter. But in the end, what U.S. Cellular did was wrong. The fact that they'll probably get away with it is sad.

Rant concluded. Feel free to move about the cabin.

Payday Cash Loans

2007-04-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

If you're anything like me, the time between pay days can feel like a million miles away.

Especially when there's a cable guy standing outside of your door with a meniacle smile and the ability to shut down your sanity tube. Or maybe, for example, you fell down a flight of stairs while in the midst of stalking your latest victim and the medical bills are starting to pile up because of it. You need money, and you need it fast.

Emily Ferreira of Maryland Cash Advance explains:

"Payday loans are a good option for people in need of money

before payday especially in the case of emergencies such as

medical expenses, car repairs, or important one-time payments."

For my readers in Arizona, I recommend for you to visit www.paydaycashadvanceloans.biz/arizona/arizona_payday_loans.asp

Those of you who are neighbors of my family in Maryland, please click away at http://www.paydaycashadvanceloans.biz/maryland/maryland_payday_loans.asp

If you find yourself in any of the above or beyond situations, and need sweet moola in between your checks, I recommend for you to check out Maryland Cash Advance. It's stress free, which is exactly what you need when you have no cable and are without the ability to be an effective predator.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

11 Years Old. Bianca Ryan. America's Got Talent. Seriously. Effing. Wow.

2007-04-05T19:26:00.000-05:00

I should explain how I came across this video on Youtube.

I was searching for Sanjaya videos.

I don't have cable right now and I've heard one too many times how that "SMELLY BASTARD" "SANJAYA THE VAGINA" "IS THE UNHOLY COMBINATION OF MICHAEL JACKSON / WILLIAM HUNG" and I had to see what all the ruckus was about.

I guess a group of people are voting for him on American Idol despite his lack of talent, or because of his lack of talent. And as a side note, I don't think Va-J-J is the worst singer ever, but he certainly doesn't belong in a singing competition. He has a nice voice, but he has no idea how to use it on a stage.

Anyways, I was searching for vids of this guy, and every other title was "CHECK OUT THIS FRIGGING KID" and "AMAZING LITTLE SINGER" and "HOLY SHIT CHILD". So, I yelled at the screen, in exhaustion "Fine! But this better be good."

It was the above video, and worth all the annoyance. I actually teared up while watching it.

I love the audacity of the Simon Cowell gripe-alike. Bianca could have dressed like, well, Sanjaya during the entire competition and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.

I feel bad for the other people on the show, even if they had half her talent, they were screwed. It's almost unfair.

Secure Loan Consolidation

2007-04-05T07:42:00.000-05:00

My gal pal, Diane, had over 30,000$ worth of credit card debt. She would cry to me about it once in awhile and I admit that I was a little judgey. I felt that even a few thousand dollars worth of plastic debt was over the top. But thirty thou?! Wow.

I haven't been the best judge of spending character, considering my own impulsiveness. I'd probably be that much indebted if some company would give me some sweet moola credit.

Then I read a reliable source that stated in 2002, the average household owed at least 8,000$ in credit card debt alone. Another big wow.

Her solution? She went with a consolidation loan, and after a year or so she'd cleared out all of her major accounts. I think that anyone with credit card debt of any ridiculous amount should consider this option. It took her a short time of working super hard, but now she walk in the world without that terrible weight on her shoulders.

If you can relate with this, I recommend the following.

Colorado Credit Card Debt

New Jersey garden folks can click on http://www.secureloanconsolidation.com/credit_card_debt/new_jersey/new_jersey.asp

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

Top 5 WTFs

2007-04-03T19:45:00.000-05:00

I've been trying on the NEXTBLOG option for size, and have found some of the pages worth linking. Every once in awhile, I'm going to post my NEXTBLOG TOP 5.

And the top WTF honors go to....

http://jedavidson.blogspot.com/
[[It's like a COW BONANZA]]
[[This is where COWS come to DIE]]
[[Cow]]

http://forbiddentouch-.blogspot.com/
[[The blog is titled]] [[What about me?]]
[[I'm only kind of sure about that]]
[[But I ask, sincerely]] [[What about WTF??]]

http://thinklingstar.blogspot.com/
[[The whole blog is themed about]]
[[thinking]] [[thoughts]] [[brainwaves]]
[[There's a reason why it never mentions articulate thoughts]]

http://imacookoo.blogspot.com/
[[ not surprised by the 0 comments on all posts]]
[[If you get a chance, leave the cuckoo lady some comment love]]
[[albeit comment pity]]

http://onebrothasmind.blogspot.com/
[[ Mmm]]
[[The power of conspiracy crazed loons]]

I have people skills.

2007-04-03T11:12:00.000-05:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

If I interview with PSNH one more time, I may have an aneurysm. Right there, mid sentence, bye-bye Katherine Marie.

I've always felt that I'm good at selling stuff, but I'm not such a natural at selling myself. An hour long conversation about me should come pretty naturally, considering that I could blog about Katie for weeks on end without sleeping or pooping. I mean, there's so much to say, because I am that AWESOME.

Yet, I jumbled my words and questioned all of my replies whilst speaking. My colon was sweating, my heart was in places it didn't belong, and I probably looked like I was staring at human guillotines.

PICTURE THIS: I was in a closet sized room, with 90% of it encompassed by table, with two pairs of eyes staring at me with varying expressions of fatigue and fear. I was being grilled by..... THE BOBS. It was the second time in my life that I'd found myself in that situation, and I was feeling it. If there had been a window in that unpadded cell, I would've contemplated the possibility of human flight.

For those of you *Sourpatch* who don't relate to {cult classic} cinematic references, THE BOBS are from one of the greatest films of all time - OFFICE SPACE.

They were men hired by the company to "trim the fat" or, in other words, dole out the layoffs. The current employees were essentially interviewing for their jobs and mostly became blabbering sell-out misfits in the process.

Bob Type A

Both of my "BOBS" were of the female variety, but the conversational tone is what drives me to their nicknames. While all of the questions were repeated from the previous conference, I felt an intense pressure from this particular interviewer, much like the BOB pictured.

I have titled the above mentioned person as BOB TYPE A. She came off as that typical personality type; an overachieving control freak, easily irritated and time-conscious, a stern and sometimes hostile look on her face, and the kind of person that is hardest to really read.

She was one of the duo that I'd interviewed with a few months ago for a single part-time position that was handed out to another candidate. She remembered me immediately, but with a tone that said This is just a formality. I already know whether or not I like you, and I'm pretty sure that I don't. You suck.

BOB TYPE A dominated the questions, pushing me through them in a way that almost made me feel more uncomfortable.

The only thing I can say positively about this BOB is that my assumptions could be completely wrong. She could have liked me, and perhaps didn't need to watch the movie all over again. Maybe she just wanted to fast forward through some of the less memorable scenes.

But I doubt it. I think if it's up to her, the only "pool" I'm getting into will require a bathing suit and a good thorough shave.

Bob Type B

This is the BOB who might just save my ass.

Sometimes, when I meet a certain kind of adult, I feel like they get me. Or at least they think that they get me. When I talk to them, they respond with a touch of enthusiasm and actual belief in my words. People in the past that have fit this category are usually teacher or counselor types. This Bob was one of them.

She was the relaxed and observing opposite of BOB TYPE A. When she asked me the few questions that she chimed in for, it seemed like she genuinely cared about what my answer was. While I know that BOB TYPE B will not be a dominating factor in the final decision, I'm hoping that she'll be the pull in my direction that I need.

When BOB TYPE B walked me out of the building, she said "We'll be talking to you soon!". I'm not sure if it was a slip of words, or a positive implication. Of course, I pray that it's the latter.

*I'll wait out the coming weeks in constant vigil of my phone*
*We'll see if my analysis was over dramatic or right on target*

Always look on the bright side of life...

2007-04-02T06:52:00.000-05:00

A curse on donut holes, and on all houses that distribute them.
In this case, the distributing house was my job.
And. Curse. Them. To. Heck.

Katie. 10 am. U.S. Cellular.

I wolfed them LUCIFER-MUNCHKINS down like Homer Simpson at the buffet, and I've spent the last two days paying the price. I knew that the result of this donut massacre would be unfun, yet I kept shoving them down the gullet, one after the other.

But there were so many varieties... shiny shiny chocolate, tasty nut covered, coconutty, powdery white and brown, yellowy glazed with juicy filling... in retrospect, it's apparent that the odds were against me.

What was previously thought as a gluten intolerance has u-turned into an allergy. I probably had about a handful of the Munchkins the first day, and ten or twelve on day two. In a past life, this may have meant a minor bellyache and a few funny dreams. Yet, I woke up at 4am with the serious need to throw up, and the inability to go back to sleep. After a full day of horrid nausea and migraines, I'm finally starting to teeter back to normality.

D. To the M. To the B. Oh, sheeeeit.

And... moving away from the horrible food occurrence, I secured my Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds ticket, with the assurance from a helpful chick that answered the phone at the stadium that my seat should be PRETTY RAD. This event is going to break me financially, but it's the kind of distraction I require.

It was a previously unannounced show added last minute for Amherst, Massachusetts. I've become too accustomed to buying tickets to a show to wait 6 months to actually see it. It'll be nice to wait only 3 weeks.

This should be the concert of my dreams, considering that the band won't be attacking me with hours of solos and songs I care little for *or have heard live several times already*.

Instead, it will be Dave on the mic, a guitar strapped to his sexy chest and Tim by his sexy side, with little else to do but blabber away and sing his usual solo awesome-ness.

It should kick arse.

Assuming that I keep away from donuts and their unholy holes.

For reals.

A third note, this is for you Sourpatchness, I've been reading this blog ((http://www2.blogger.com/www.youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com)) by a funny gal from the big NY, and have been completely absorbed in it. It's harmlessly insane, with the writer obsessed with odd animal photos *such as the above one* and an underage celebrity hot boy *though I can't blame her with Harry Potter, that kid is going to be smokin'*.

This particular post http://youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com/2005/10/best-thing-ive-read-today.html is one I know you'll find funny, G-ness.

The blog is authored by Michelle Collins, a for-real blogger for my favorite show on the planet, Best Week Ever (should be called BEST SHOW EVER, har-har!). Check out the post, and the rest of her blog, if you haven't already. It's been giving me a serious case of the giggles whilst in the crappiness of my current situation.

2007-03-27T22:48:00.000-05:00

I've been seeing yet another emotionally unavailable man and I feel stuck. If I move forward with this, assuming that I will have the ability to do so, I'm going to get hurt.

How do I break it off, when it's not what I want to do?
How can I be in a relationship that has no future?

I'm already budding feelings for him, despite his impression that I won't. I want to stick him in a time capsule and make every day exactly like the last. The moments that I've had with him have been beautiful, unforgettable, simple. Everything about him, every part of him, feels good to me... feels right to me. Despite the logicality to end it, I don't think I can.

So, I suppose, that when I inevitably get burned, I don't have anyone to blame but myself. He's been upfront and honest about where he stands, and as much as I wish the situation were different... it's not going to be. The truth stands that he will probably never love me. It's a reality I've had to face before becoming completely emotionally involved and I feel insane for wanting him.

But I do want him.

*UPDATE*

Last night, I sent him a couple long-winded text messages explaining that I didn't want to see him anymore. I was fully expecting an unenthused okay in response, but in this case, nada.

Of course, I do want to see him again. I want to see him a thousand times more, but it's not going to happen without the consequence of Katie getting very hurt.

I'm making the prediction true that 'I'll never love him' by not allowing myself to love him, by finding someone else.

I've been in too many bad situations that I was partly responsible for.

Wwes, Ben, Brandon...

I could have nipped those traumas in the bud.

I have to do now what I haven't been able to in the past.
I need to be a stronger Katie.

*ANOTHER EVEN MORE DEPRESSING UPDATE*

He finally responded to my texts with an unsurprising yet completely shitty answer of "I think you're right. It's best to be logical."

Oh, fuck.

At least these are all the tears I'm ever going to shed over him.

At least I can be thankful for that.

*WAY LESS DEPRESSING UPDATE*

I'm so over it.
Bring on the new man meat!

Wirefly can help.

2007-03-24T07:52:00.000-05:00

I've been on a temp assignment at a cell phone company and I know the feeling that people get walking into a cellular store first hand. It's overwhelming to have the product sold to them by a commission driven chimpanzee. While the people at my store mostly rock, there are sales reps out there that aren't looking out for the best option for you. They may just be looking to make a quick buck, in fact, they probably are.

Maybe you want to research all of the plans and deals out there before you decide on what is best suited for you. Sure, you could Google it and spend a few hours digging through every possible company in your area, or you could try Wirefly.com.

The website has all of the best companies, phones and deals grouped together for your browsing enjoyment. You can choose to shop by the dealer, phone or plan type. There's even a promotion for a free Razor through Cingular, Sprint, Tmobile, or Verizon Wireless. Razors will set you back at least a hundred and change in the store I work at, and in all of the other companies that I've checked out.

Also, their accessories are super cheap with $2.95 shipping costs for all orders, and even cheaper if you check out the clearance section. I'm looking at a razor case & charger combo for 19.95, a hands-free earbud for 6.95 and a memory card for 15.95. Sure, we have a discount bin in my store, but it's filled with cases and chargers for outdated phones that nobody has anymore. Again, this is usually the case in all retail stores.

I recommend this website if you're unhappy with your current provider, or just want to look at what else is out there. Definitely check out Wirefly, it's easy to use, and the deals will rock your socks.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

There must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the theif.

2007-03-20T09:05:00.000-05:00

My work schedule is Wednesday through Saturday.

Day Off #1. Sunday.
I generally wallow, sleep and sit on my arse. Four days of standing in place for 8 hours has made my feet feel like they've gone through some sort of mashing device.

Day Off #2. Monday.
I'm itching to get out in the world and do something. Monday's are the big spending days. I've been going to the grocery store, the mall, and on one occasion, Boston. Then what do I do? Go home, sit on my arse again, watch TV shows online or chat up the Internet "people".

Day Off #3. Tuesday.
Suddenly, it's Tuesday. This is my last day of freedom, and the day that I have to do everything I've avoided in the previous two days.

Katie, get your hand off your va-j-j. It's unladylike.

My house is flippin' dirty. I need to do laundry. My house is flippin' dirty. I need to pay my landlord, which means that I'm going to take a trip to the nearest bank. And once again, my house needs a cleanin' that I haven't felt real inspiration to do.

The only thing I have wanted to do in the time I've worked this schedule is get out of my apartment or lay around in it like some kind of paraplegic. I'm never in the mood for cleaning, if anything I'm more in the mood to dirty it on down. If you know me, it doesn't sound entirely odd for Katie to procrastinate. Yet I'm starting to feel like this is more of an avoidance. It's in the same rhyme & reason that I've avoided paying my rent. I'm really getting serious about not wanting to be here.

I've been asking myself if the root of it lays in the bills & money issues, the below par work schedule, or the loneliness thing. Sure, it's a combo of all of that... but is it more? Is it Manchester? Is it life in general? Part of me is starting to think that it is.

The idea of escape hits me time and time again, but I've always placed it on the back burner. There are reasons, of course-- fear, self-consciousness, and lack of solid options. In my current status, I feel like I'd be abandoning Ashley, even though I know that she has plenty of options other than me that she might opt for when the time comes.

My next idea is going to be that I propose to Ash that we live here until my lease runs out, and then get a two bedroom in Portsmouth. When, and if, she comes to live here, I'm going to talk to her about my feelings of extreme flight versus fight ambitions.

I see you... You see me... Differently

2007-03-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

I know saying this will likely throw me in the proverbial

NUT HOUSE IN THE SKY, but I've been really irked by something my friend constantly repeats about Dave Matthews. She calls his music "Country", and continues saying it. I know it's mostly in teasing, but it bothers me just the same.

Before I get into my rant, my readers should understand something about me. When it comes to music and idols, I love whole hearted.

Dave Matthews is MY IDOL, MY MUSICIAN, MY MESSIAH. It took a long time for me to find him, but once I fell into his music, I fell in totally. There have been times where this music has kept me from total depression, possibly points of personal annihilation. It's more than an out, it's an in. An entry back to sanity.

I've always felt that his music is damn near impossible to categorize. It's incredibly eclectic, with a mishmash of Jazz, Rock, Classical, Alternative, African Influences, and yes, probably a tiny bit of country *I'd say when there is involvement of a fiddle*.

To throw him in that tight, sometimes intolerable slot of COUNTRY is a travesty to me. The image of the recent past and present of Country music has been completely against progression. It does have admirable roots, considering that at one time it was the beating heart of our nation. But it's roots have long since been torn from the ground, with nothing left but a dead tree full of stuff that was never intended to be stored in it.

In my opinion, and you can glare at me for it, Country has slowly edged backwards into the influence of pop. Most songs today sound exactly like ones on the top 40 stations but with just a little 'twang' and a y'all here and there.

I suppose to the untrained, foreign-ish ear, anything that is in-between categorization can be hurled into the nearest, biggest slot... but MAN, did that get to me.

I've had plenty of people put down Dave, but mostly in matters of personal taste. I can't be offended by a person just not enjoying the music. That's like disliking someone because they can't stand Hawaiian style pizza, when it's your absolute favorite.

Which, by the by, you're a total freak if you don't like Hawaiin style pizza.

In this case, it was almost like a blasphemous slap in the face to his music. Sure, call him a crappy, whiny yodeler. If that's the way your ear takes it in, okay.

But don't hurl him next to the sell outs with the big white cowboy hats and sparkle clad dress shirts.

Couponchef.com

2007-03-19T08:19:00.000-05:00

My computer is about ten seconds and a short smack in the gut from falling apart on me. I need my PC, it's an outlet for me that if lost, could drive me mad.

When I do have the money to shop for a new computer, I will definitely be using the Computers section of this website for coupons, appropriately named Couponchef.com.

My first choice for my next computer is going to be a notebook/laptop. I constantly move my apartment around and it would be a heck of a lot easier on me to consolidate.

http://www.hewlettpackard.com

I found a coupon on this website for 349$ off of an HP Pavillion Notebook with a 17" display. That clocks the little computer in at less than 900$, and it's got all of the extras. I think that's a pretty decent deal.

Also, the Couponchef site has a ton of other coupons that I'm going to check out and use. All of the deals are for well known businesses like Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Hewlett Packard, Kodak, Dell and many others.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com

I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset.

2007-03-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

I really like my job. This is a little queer to me.

It's not the job that makes the day worth it as much as it is my co-workers. They keep up with their work... and the down time is fun. Day by day, I get my laughs in on the weird ins-and-outs of the people I work with. It feels like I'm in a dirty sitcom.

They sent me to a fancy restaurant in Concord where they taught a group of us how to be better at our jobs. One of the lessons was to go to local stores and shop. Yes, that's right, they paid me to shop and eat. Most of the bene's there are fun little things, and even the annoying stuff isn't that bad.

There are the downsides, and they're almost enough to push me away.

The pay stinks and the hours aren't the greatest, but I've just received news that they'll be putting me on full time. Not only that, but a Sales Rep. position is going to open up and I'm mostly confident that I'll get it.

The "Greeter" thang is easy and without responsibility, but the money and the real job is in the sales position. Not only that, but I hate taking the back seat with the customer. It sucks the energy out of me to listen to an issue and direct it somewhere else, when I know with training I'd be more than capable of helping them. I could earn commission, because I could sell the phone.

The funny thing is that they have the "Sales Rep" title, but there isn't a whole lot of selling to it. It's a store by itself and the customers are getting assistance with items they've already decided to buy. I've watched the reps, most of them don't put much effort into their pitch, yet their commissions are pretty great.

The positive thing is that even though I'm not officially part of the group, I still feel like I'm one of them. Every day that I spent at Anthem, the employees looked at me like it was my last day in the building. They were sympathetically nice-ish yet incredibly distant and snooty.

Under the surface of all of this is a girl struggling for air. I'm worried that I'll have an eviction notice on my door or that my electricity will suddenly go kapoot. I'm tired of not having cable, and even more tired of worrying about every penny I spend.

If I can survive the next couple months, I should land on my feet. If I get a Sales position, I will eventually pay my rent in one monthly commission check and live on the bi-weeklies. Ashley'll probably join me and pay a chunk of my rent, and more importantly give me much needed company. The future may still hold some struggle in it, but when I'm at this job I feel like there is a possibility for a positive future.

If I can work at a place with people I enjoy being around, and work that I can live up to, and a pay that is lifestyle worthy (and once hired, there are health benefits), then maybe the road ahead isn't as bumpy as it looks.

The Anonymous Email

2007-03-13T18:18:00.000-05:00

Do you have a certain someone that you need to say a certain something to?

Anonymous Email

Would you like to send that certain someone an anonymous email, one that could never be tracked back to you? It's kind of like slipping a note into a locker, or getting a bank account in the Kayman Islands. Man, I love metaphors.

Maybe you want to prank your co-worker, or reveal to a crush your undying love or perhaps you've been dying to tell off your boss. Blazow! Join this spunky little website and your privacy is protected.

Anonymous Email

Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing, when the world is over.

2007-03-13T10:46:00.000-05:00

I bought the second season of Gray's Anatomy ((currently my favorite show EVER.)) At the end of an episode, Meredith Gray begs the question "What would you do if you knew this was your last day on Earth?"

That got my brain tickin'.
God help me when that happens.
Here's my list.

That's right, I said it.

1. Listen to every Dave Matthews song ever recorded. In fact, as I'm dying, I want it to be my soundtrack. Which song? The Stone, I guess. Or, When The World Ends might be more death appropriate. Either way, it's impossible for me to feel less than euphoric around such music. By the way, it is important to have a good death soundtrack.

Amsterdam. All the Mary-J and prostitutes I could ask for. Oh, and Rembrandt. Yes, Rembrandt.

2. Travel. I know this doesn't sound logistically possible, but I've never gone anywhere. I don't want to die without having a memory outside of New England. Also, I don't want to die in some foreign place. So maybe I'd hold up a jet pilot or something. I'm going to need a good game plan because I don't want to die in some foreign jail. This whole death thing is getting pretty complicated.

(insert holy chorus here) "Ahhh!"

3. Go to a church and try really really hard to believe in God and Heaven and all that. The Atheist in me hates this idea, but I really don't think it could hurt if I tried. My whole shpeal has been that I can't believe either for or against religion. If I'm going to die, I'll attempt the former.

Mmm. The power of cheese.

4. Rob a bank. Steal a television set, the biggest one I can find. Break into a museum and take some idiotic existential abstract piece, Mission Impossible style. I realize that if I effectively convince myself that there is a God and there is a heaven, this will immediately disqualify me. However, I've heard in some beliefs that you don't go to Hell if you apologize and mean it.
Let me just say in advance, I'm very sorry for doing this.

The better to eat you with, my dear *lobster*.

5. Eat every type of food I've never tried. These would be meals that I've always kind of wanted to test but never had the opportunity stare me in the face. Thai, Sushi, Ruben Sandwich, Lobster *the whole thing, without throwing up*, Calamari, Chocolate Covered Ants, Roasted Chestnuts, Authentic New York Pizza, and Soul Food *items like Chitlins and Pig's Feet*, etc, etc.

The thought just creeped into my head that if I eat all of those things, my autopsy is going to be pretty ghastly. It's sort of like wearing clean underwear in case of an accident. If I know I'm going to die, it's seems tacky to fill up my gut so that my undertaker has a work load to sift through. Diaretics, perhaps?!

Sooner or later we're done.

2007-03-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

I feel so disconnected from my life.

I've been looking for a change.

I'm on the cusp of wanting to be somewhere different, doing something different.

I have a friend, Jackie, and she's been in America for 8 months. She's from Puerto Rico and has been feeling home sick. She explained that she wakes up every day and thinks "What am I doing in this place? I don't belong here."

I can relate.

Yet I don't have a 'home' anywhere but Exeter. As much as I'd love to live in that area, I can't imagine myself in that fishbowl of a town. I've thought about Portsmouth, because it's beautiful and more urban. I'd need to be a non-pedestrian and I don't quite have the means to do that.

The rent thing and the job thing is killing me. I need to work as a Telephone CSR. It's the job that makes me happy and there don't seem to be any opportunities left in Manchester.

I really like my current temp job at U.S. Cellular- the people ROCK and the work is easy and somewhat fun.

I feel like it would have been the perfect job 3 years ago.

What options do I have? The Ashley situation isn't 100 % even as her graduation and summer creeps closer, and I think I could get out of the lease I'm in. Either way, it's up in July and I could make my final decision at that point.

I don't have much past that.

I'm getting tired of living a life I feel I don't belong in. I wish I had a Puerto Rico.

Well, when Ashley possibly moves in with me come June-ish, she's going to help me get my license. After I work that out, I hope to have a game plan.

Maybe I'll choose Portsmouth, or Boston, or something else.

Only time will tell.

Have they really lost their mind? I couldn't tell you, I've lost mine.

2007-03-04T20:19:00.000-05:00

I've been stressed out because of the job issues, so I took a mini vacation to Boston and meandered around. Everything about being in the city calmed me. It was like I was inside of Grand Theft Auto, everything looks sort of familiar but completely interesting. I don't worry about getting lost, in fact it's what I attempt to do, because no matter where I go the T will bring me back to where I started. It's like there are teleportation devices around every corner with a save point and the option to go back to the main menu.

It's pronounced BWASTIN. I asked.

Boston was wonderful, but the bus rides back and forth were literal nightmares. Inbound, I sat in front of two children that could not speak to each other with inside voices. As I was trying to read my book, all I could hear was "I LOVE HAM SANDWICHES WITHOUT MAYONNAISE CAUSE MAYONNAISE IS GROSS!" and "JEFF GORDON SUCKS! OH YEAH HE SOO DOES SUCK!". Both of them were perpetually kicking my chair and playing really loud video games. This is all while not ONE but TWO people on the bus were whistling. The man in front of me would get going with the verse, while someone in the back of the bus would continue with the hook. I have a problem with whistling. It's practically a phobia for me. I say fuck whistling.

I can almost expect the ride to Boston to be a bit more obnoxious than the ride back to Manchester. Boston is a destination, Manchester is not. Excitement can occur, especially with kiddies on the ride, and it's the beginning of a day. The bus ride back is calm and reflective. It's later, so there are very few children if any and most people are relaxing. While this is all true about the inbound bus, it was a bit more molesty than I prefer my rides to be.

I had the good luck of sitting across the aisle from a young girl that appeared to be between the age of 11 to 13, and she was comfortably sitting next to an older man in his mid-thirties to early forties. A bit too comfortably, it seemed, but not completely weird. Little by little, I saw things that put red flags up in my Katie brain.

She placed her hand too far to the crotch area of his pants... they were playing footsie in a nonchalant sort of way... they began holding hands and sitting a little too close... she fell asleep on his arm and he would occasionally rub his forehead with hers and caress her arms... he kissed her several times, and not in a "daddy loves his baby" way... when he woke her up, he placed his hand on her upper thigh and rubbed it...

When the whole thing began, it seemed like it was possible that he was a father that was too affectionate to his daughter. I'm not sick and I don't tend to think things that are drastically untrue, but I needed conformation of my speculations. I waited until they had boarded off of the bus and asked the girl sitting behind me if she had seen what I had seen. She agreed and noted that she wasn't planning to say anything, but she would back me up 100%. We approached the bus driver together, who was perplexed by the situation and immediately asked me why I hadn't approached him 'discretely' during the ride in an almost accusatory way.

First of all, it's a scary thing for anyone to witness and I didn't know if I was the only person that saw it. Secondly, if it had stopped halfway through the ride I would have doubted that something was going on and possibly recanted. It's easy for an outside party to make a person think that they saw things that weren't really there.

The bus company called the police, who then grilled me. The cop had briefly interviewed them and he stated to me that they acted "normal" and asked me if anything really bad had been going on. Okay, if a cop approaches a child molester, and asks him if he was playing hide the penis with his daughter, the molester isn't going to say "Oh, hell ya, I've had that girl six ways to Sunday!"

I had told him the story exactly as it happened, and I never said they had sex or anything, but it was still wildly inappropriate. I'm pretty sure if they had been making out or screwing, the ride really would have ended without any comment from me.

What was I supposed to do, walk away and let the incident go? She is a child a few years from puberty, and even if his actions weren't outright illegal, they were certainly reprehensible and deserve to be scrutinized. I know the chances of charges or actual reprimand are small, but the point is that it's going to get attention. They told me that the mother was on her way, and hopefully this is going to make her pay attention to the comings and goings of their relationship. Even if he hasn't slept with the kid, he should be made aware that his affection toward her is inappropriate. If it had been a boy and a girl of the same age next to me, I would have been thinking 'I know who is totally getting laid at the end of this'.

So, yeah, my vacation was like a trip to Cancun on a bus ride meant for prison.