Everybody knows that almost doesn't count.

Quite a bit has happened since I last spoke to you, my dear blogger friend.

I think I mostly avoid updating here because I feel that few read these particular blog. Half the fun of writing in an online journal is the question of who might be listening in.....

I have had a boyfriend for a short time; apparently offering for him to move into my apartment on a temporary basis was the bloody death of that so-called relationship.

He's still staying with me as of this very moment, but I don't think it will last much longer. This week he paid me a whole 20 bucks for the entire month. I'm broker than broke & he's eaten all of my food while unthankfully leaving messes for me to clean up. I think I deserve more than that.

I left him a very long & very nasty letter that will likely put him over the edge. I’m far past bargaining and trying to make the best of this very bad situation. The way I see it is that I can be without money but without stress or I can be with very little money but with an intolerable amount of stress. I opt for having less money and less stress.

I was with Wwes for a millisecond, yet for some reason I mostly don't regret it. He filled an emotional canyon that desperately needed to be filled. I don't think I'm due for a refill anytime soon... so I've given up on calling him...

And the question of the hour, what of Ben? I’ve finally come to the conclusion that he's not worth all of the headaches, as strong as my irrational feelings for him are. I will love him and love him and love him, but it will never make a difference. Almost doesn't count.

As for work? I’m enjoying that I'm never penalized for the length & content of my sidebar conversations, because after Abacus, the YWCA and practically every job I've ever had, it's refreshing to have the ability to talk and say what I want. There are negatives to this, of course, in that anyone can say what they want to me and not get penalized.

I'm tired & going to bed. I wanted to check in.