When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely.


I have so many endless rants that I think I can actually pull off having two online journals... and really- I can just cut n' paste. That's cheap, huh? I know.

I've been walking like a nut case and it's finally starting to pay off. Good deal.

The other day, like an idiot, I went to the mall and got stranded. I humiliated myself by calling BAD IDEA & pretty much everyone else I know to try to get a ride home.

Eventually, I gave up and decided to walk the undesirable distance in the pouring rain. A random guy offered me a ride and I accepted mostly because I was just too exhausted not to. He could have been an axe murderer and I wouldn't have fought him too much, that's how tired I was...
- see a later Myspace post- DMB Concert July 2006).

It's obvious that this guy of random kindness, Jake, would've done just about anything for me. He bought me food, booze, and cigarettes... I hung out with him to show appreciation. I am having second thoughts about chillin' with him a second time because I wouldn't touch him if he paid me sick wads of cash, and I don't want to have to tell him that in even the nicest possible manner.

It's amazing how quickly I can kick myself in and out of the missing on BAD IDEA jive. I'm glad I haven't seen him lately because already I'm starting to get over it. It's taken me years to get over THE LOSER, and the status of that is still somewhat questionable.

I need a new job, rediculously bad.

Strangely enough, I am continually edging towards working in a grocery store again. I loved my short stint a cashier/bagger at Shop N' Save (Hannafords). It paid more than my current job, and there was an immense amount of independence in comparison. I only ran the register when they needed me, bagged every once in awhile & practically lived outside pushing the carts. I listened to my headphones all day & night... sometimes friends would come and chat with me.

There wasn't anyone leaning over my shoulder most of the time. I could zone out and it was good for me.

If I could do that again, I think I would be happier.

We'll see what my vocational future will bring.

Oh, Katie, if you only knew.

No comments: