If I interview with PSNH one more time, I may have an aneurysm. Right there, mid sentence, bye-bye Katherine Marie.
I've always felt that I'm good at selling stuff, but I'm not such a natural at selling myself. An hour long conversation about me should come pretty naturally, considering that I could blog about Katie for weeks on end without sleeping or pooping. I mean, there's so much to say, because I am that AWESOME.
Yet, I jumbled my words and questioned all of my replies whilst speaking. My colon was sweating, my heart was in places it didn't belong, and I probably looked like I was staring at human guillotines.
PICTURE THIS: I was in a closet sized room, with 90% of it encompassed by table, with two pairs of eyes staring at me with varying expressions of fatigue and fear. I was being grilled by..... THE BOBS. It was the second time in my life that I'd found myself in that situation, and I was feeling it. If there had been a window in that unpadded cell, I would've contemplated the possibility of human flight.
For those of you *Sourpatch* who don't relate to {cult classic} cinematic references, THE BOBS are from one of the greatest films of all time - OFFICE SPACE.
They were men hired by the company to "trim the fat" or, in other words, dole out the layoffs. The current employees were essentially interviewing for their jobs and mostly became blabbering sell-out misfits in the process.
Both of my "BOBS" were of the female variety, but the conversational tone is what drives me to their nicknames. While all of the questions were repeated from the previous conference, I felt an intense pressure from this particular interviewer, much like the BOB pictured.
I have titled the above mentioned person as BOB TYPE A. She came off as that typical personality type; an overachieving control freak, easily irritated and time-conscious, a stern and sometimes hostile look on her face, and the kind of person that is hardest to really read.
She was one of the duo that I'd interviewed with a few months ago for a single part-time position that was handed out to another candidate. She remembered me immediately, but with a tone that said This is just a formality. I already know whether or not I like you, and I'm pretty sure that I don't. You suck.
BOB TYPE A dominated the questions, pushing me through them in a way that almost made me feel more uncomfortable.
The only thing I can say positively about this BOB is that my assumptions could be completely wrong. She could have liked me, and perhaps didn't need to watch the movie all over again. Maybe she just wanted to fast forward through some of the less memorable scenes.
But I doubt it. I think if it's up to her, the only "pool" I'm getting into will require a bathing suit and a good thorough shave.
Bob Type B
This is the BOB who might just save my ass.
Sometimes, when I meet a certain kind of adult, I feel like they get me. Or at least they think that they get me. When I talk to them, they respond with a touch of enthusiasm and actual belief in my words. People in the past that have fit this category are usually teacher or counselor types. This Bob was one of them.
She was the relaxed and observing opposite of BOB TYPE A. When she asked me the few questions that she chimed in for, it seemed like she genuinely cared about what my answer was. While I know that BOB TYPE B will not be a dominating factor in the final decision, I'm hoping that she'll be the pull in my direction that I need.
When BOB TYPE B walked me out of the building, she said "We'll be talking to you soon!". I'm not sure if it was a slip of words, or a positive implication. Of course, I pray that it's the latter.
Sometimes, when I meet a certain kind of adult, I feel like they get me. Or at least they think that they get me. When I talk to them, they respond with a touch of enthusiasm and actual belief in my words. People in the past that have fit this category are usually teacher or counselor types. This Bob was one of them.
She was the relaxed and observing opposite of BOB TYPE A. When she asked me the few questions that she chimed in for, it seemed like she genuinely cared about what my answer was. While I know that BOB TYPE B will not be a dominating factor in the final decision, I'm hoping that she'll be the pull in my direction that I need.
When BOB TYPE B walked me out of the building, she said "We'll be talking to you soon!". I'm not sure if it was a slip of words, or a positive implication. Of course, I pray that it's the latter.
*I'll wait out the coming weeks in constant vigil of my phone*
*We'll see if my analysis was over dramatic or right on target*
*We'll see if my analysis was over dramatic or right on target*
7 comments:
Maybe you should just show them your blog. maybe get rid of the nekkid guys first though. or not. might just get you the job.
good luck
Wow! People actually do read my blog! *Breathe, in Katie, it's only inevitable*
I've actually considered hiding this post for fear that the recruiters will get a hold of it. I've heard that it's becoming a standard practice to Google candidates before making a decision.
Ah, I'm throwing caution to the wind. Thanks for the comment!!
HEY! How dare you actually talk to someone else besides me???!?!?!?!?! Don't make me hang you upside down until your ovaries hang out of your mouth and scream for jesus to save you, katie. Don't make me...
Sshh. You're scaring my stalky readers away.
I NEED THAT HIT FROM KAZAKHSTAN.
If you scare away that potential reader, you'll be screaming for Jesus to save you.
I'd be pretty good in hand-to-hand combat with you. I know you'll be all teeth, aiming for my jugular.
I'll be prepared.
*Hands Sour her happy pill*
Shh. Shh. Quiet down, you crazy Dominican.
*Pats her head so rough that Sours face is nearly removed from her skull*
Gooood kitty.
HEEEEY..I also read your blog.
Any hit from Argieland?
Well, if Argieland is Argentina, then yes.
Because that hit would be from you.
I'd read your blog, but I'm not very much with the effluent Spanish. When I read it, all I see is "I LIKE" and "I REALLY LIKE". Things like that.
Thank you, come again!
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