"Katie, you're too negative."
This phrase is always more than likely a tissue papered judgment of the attitude that I seem to present to the world. It is passed out so nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t a judgment at all but merely a helpful hint from the kind who apparently thinks that I could change my whole perspective with a gentle shift of positive energy.
It’s intrusive and an attack on my character. Why should I say words that I do not mean and act in a way that I do not feel? I wouldn’t tell someone annoyingly positive to glimpse into reality once in awhile, so why should it be acceptable to tell me how I should act? My reaction to a person whose personality clashes with my own is to not beg for them to come around.
I have a new rule. When the moment occurs that a ‘friend’ utters the above mentioned phrase or alludes to it, I will remove myself from the conversation. I will walk away without a single word and end my relationship with them. Just because they feel that I rarely look at the bright side, or at least rarely voice it when I do, doesn’t give them the right to become my uninvited Dr. Phil.
I’ve found, in retrospect, that the ones more likely to point out my glass-is-half-empty view are the ones that have more than enough of their own flaws glaring on the surface. If I can’t walk away without saying anything, I will point out every annoying thing that my ‘friend’ portrays and then make my exit.
Here’s an example of a ‘friend’ I’d love to have unleashed on.
“Katie, you’re too negative-”
“You really think so? As long as we’re pointing out this, let’s discuss you’re slightly sick need to force your dog to follow you into the bathroom.
Let’s correct the way that you are overdramatic about some things that you should really just let go, like the whole Darby thing, as she was more than likely your friend out of convenience than anything and this is a reasonable answer for why she could care less about you now that you don’t work with her.
Let us reflect on how much you pretend to be everyone’s pal because you’re so desperate for a friend, but make fun of them behind their back, when you have no room to be putting anyone down.
Do you know you portray yourself as more capable than anyone, and that probably will cost you the ability to move forward in this job?
You've portrayed yourself as someone that doesn't want negativity in her life, but the truth is, you just want someone who is going to pat you on the back and fill the lonely void that encompasses your sad little life. I’m sorry I can’t do that for you.”
From here on out, if you can’t take the edges of my personality and want me to hide who I am, then I have no room in your life and you have no room in mine.