"5 Cents Per Hair. That's My Final Offer."

I've been chatting with this boy that is obsessed with my hair.

Every sentence is "How long is it?" and "My, that's a perty blond wig you got on ya." so on and so forth. He asked if I'd meet up with him for drinks sometime, so OF COURSE, I was forced to ask this inevitable question.

Are you a black market hair bidder? Are you going to take me out for a drink, put a roofie in my vodka... as I wake up groggy, confused... and bald?

This brought me right back to a fond memory, which I will share with my G-Masta. Do you recall that fairly robotic boy with the long, luscious locks? Does chasing him around, screaming expletives and numbers at him? If not, here's my explanation to my other IM partner.

My bestest bud used to do that. It was hilarious. There was this really weird dude at a store we worked at with amazing and just horrendously beautiful shiny long hair.

And she'd walk behind him really slowly, ask him questions. Like "If I paid you a hundred dollars, would you let me sell your hair on the black market?"

katiewnh: Chase him with scissors.

Coming back to memory yet? My conversation continues.

katiewnh: His reaction was the funniest part. He'd look at her like she was an alien, and somehow pull off looking like one himself.

: He was the kind who has had very little actual interaction, so when she would pat his head and coo underground biddings in his ear, he'd just sit there quietly... kind of confused.

katiewnh: And then run away.

Good times, good times.

Check out Person.com, baby.

Are you tired of all the old sites, like Myspace and Facebook? How about trying something new?

If you have a webcam and want to 'connect' with people, this is a rockin' new way to try it out. And you won't end up chatting with HotGalSusan or RichardBiggums and be forced to pay to see 'em on a pre-recorded video. Oh no. It's all for reals. Which, by the way, I never did that. And that is my final statement, so if you try to say otherwise, I'll sue you for libel. I will. Don't make me.

You can create video confrences and have fun with friends, get involved in a "play and flirt" game, or broadcast yourself in public mode for all to see. Don't believe me? Check it out!

Person.com - webcams, chat, personals

It comes highly recommended by the Katster.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


Oh, yes, she did just say that.

I've transcribed a part of the video for my friend who cannot watch it, because she is at work. This is my favorite moment from all three videos due to the the slow realization that the mother is finally arriving to. So here you go, G, enjoy.

Alexis: I want to ask you right now, if you’re not standing at attention, to stand in Vagina Power and manifest your destiny.

You know this is October, and in a few days we’ll be in Halloween. So I was thinkin’, I usually don’t celebrate Halloween, go trick or treatin’ anymore, but all girls need to go out and buy a costume.

And the costume I am choosing to stand in Vagina Power in is a pilot. I’m piloting the pussy! See, you need to be a pilot of the pussy, y’all!

Y’all gots to be the pussy PO-lice! Cause if you don’t be careful, these men that y’all are commitin’ to is giving the dick away that’s got to go up in yo’ vagina! The vagina is not safe, cause the men that we have designated to be our men cannot be trusted!

They done taken the wedding ring off they finger. They scared because they’re afraid that the wedding band is going to be a noose around their nuts! I mean a true Nut Bracket. To lock them in and keep them in check so they can’t give it no nobody else.

So a lot of them have not only taken the wedding band off their finger, they done taken the wedding band off they nuts!

[interrupted by a loud, high pitched sigh in the background]

Alexis: Oh, scuse me, but my mother’s here with us. Do you have a comment?

[horror plastered across the mothers face as she looks carefully at her daughter]

Mother: No, I aint sayin’ nothin’. I didn’t say nothin’.

Alexis: Did you want to say something to add to my program?

Mother: I wasn’t ready for no “Vagina Police”. Salute th-

[Alexis raises hand to forehead]


Mother: No. You didn’t just say that.

Dick will make you slap somebody.

I have to thank Michelle Collins from You Can't Make It Up for pointing this out on her blog. This has got to be the most ridiculously hilarious video I have ever seen on Youtube.

I think I'm moving to Atlanta so that I can watch their public access television.

This is all I heard. Katie took notes for you.

  1. All Penises are not created equal. Penis Power.
  2. Now her mind aint good, cause he done ejaculated his penis all up in her brain. She gone crazy.
  3. That girl is lonely. Her vagina is cold.
  4. Some men just have so much heat and energy in their penis, that you can just feel it radiating through they clothes. It’s on fire!
  5. This man won’t even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver’s, and that plate’s like what, 2.99? But he can give you a mouth full of sperm?
  6. All this man is offering you is a side of penis.
  7. He is using his penis as a weapon to break her ass down.

Part 2.

Katie breathe. Wait. Can't. Stop. Laughing. Okay. More notes for you.

  1. If the man ain't comin', he gonna be goin' somewhere else, puttin' his penis in someone else.
  2. The penis is a heat-seeking missile, like a rocket. Information is encoded in it making it do what it do. It already knows its position.
  3. When the parts of penis hit them vagina walls, harmonizing and making them sing, a woman feels like she's in church jumping and shouting.
  4. Because he's in love with your vagina, that does not mean he is in love with you.
  5. A lot of time we run up on the penis that has all this power in it. That rocket. Launch it up in the vaginal canal.

Part 3.

The final segment of these installments. I can't even breathe long enough to take notes on this. Just. watch. O. M. F. G.


The stamp on my ticket to Hell.

katiewnh (9:39:15 PM): It's pretty bad when I scream "BITCH!" at a parapalegic.

SalBroadhill (9:39:26 PM): Hmm.
SalBroadhill (9:39:38 PM): That's impressive.

katiewnh (9:39:47 PM): And envy her. And want to steal her wheelchair and breathing device.

SalBroadhill (9:40:25 PM): What, does she have platinum spinner rims, diamond encrusted valves, and a gold grill?

katiewnh (9:40:16 PM): Dave Matthews should be my Make-A-Wish.
katiewnh (9:40:27 PM): That bitch.

SalBroadhill (9:40:59 PM): You realize you seem like a crazy person?

katiewnh (9:41:26 PM): I am a crazy person. Have you learned nothing?!

Look at that flashy top. Does she have no shame?!

I know I don't....


I am here today to talk to you about Forex Trading.

What the heck is that?! You ask, impolitely. Forex is short for Foreign Exchange, cute, huh? According to my sources, it exists wherever one currency is traded for another and is the largest kind of market in the world.

I am also here to talk to you about a little thing called Futures as it relates to Forex Trading. It basically has to do with the way that the money is exchanged and the length of time it takes for the money to get from hand to hand. Futures is based on contracts with typical durations of 3 months, in contrast to a thing called Spot, which is a lot faster.

Basically if you are dealing with Forex Trading and Futures, then the suit you are looking for is Globalfutures.com. They have goodies like free live simultaneous trading accounts, several trading systems to choose from, live online support, and a 'name your own commission' deal. If this little economic lesson peaked your interest, and you were looking for somewhere to stack your funds, this is the site I recommend for you to visit. You can get started for as low as 250$, which is practically chump to even the most conservative investor.

global futures

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


The answer is yes. I really do rock that much.

I was checking out the stats on my Cluster Map, for the *ahem* awaited hit, and something occurred to me.

I have some serious questions that call for serious answers.

I have readers from China. CHINA.

Jesus-Mary-And-Joseph! There's an implication to that, isn't there? It means that there are people out there reading my words in Chinese characters. Now, from my experience with foreign languages, I know that there can be issues with the translation.

Could there be some people out there seriously misinterpreting my rants?! And what exactly do they see in translation? Most importantly, what does my name look like in Chinese characters? Does it look as awesome as I do? This interests Katie greatly.

Your thoughts, in the form of comments [not telephathy, I've yet to sharpen that skill], would be highly appreciated ♥

Hey reckless mind,
Don't throw away your playful beginnings.

My day has been interesting, as always, so I've decided that the best thing to do is share it with you kind folks. Take from it what you will.

It began last night, really, when the thought got into my head that I'm supposed to be a blond. I was suddenly hit with the idea that at least some of my troubles could be blamed on my red toned hair. It was like there was a wig on my head that was intruding on my personality... it didn't fit in and it had to go.

On the night before my second interview with Anthem [That's right, they made me come back], I decided I could perform best if I was a platinum baby once again. I went with the lightest blond I could find, so that all traces of my former hair colors would be bleached the heck away. Can you smell the disaster yet? Isn't there a heaviness to the air, like driving past a field of cows?

My head became a patchy spectrum of whitish blond, pinkish red and light auburn hair. I resembled some kind of colorful popsicle dissolving on a sidewalk. It. was. ridiculous.

I left the house at 1am, thinking that I could run into Stop N' Shop, because if the South Willow location was run around the clock then it was reasonable to assume that this one was as well. Well, it wasn't. The interview was the following morning, and I'm not the fastest turtle alive. It wasn't looking good for me, in accordance with the going theme of my life.

I slept for about 3 solid hours, raced to the grocery store, and chose the next scalp burning colorant with hesitancy. I thought, shouldn't I just dye it brunette again? No, that would put me back to square one and I'll end up in a salon a month from today spending 200 dollars to get the right look. Well, what about a deep red? Then there'd be another CIA operative on my skull looking to terrorize my life. Can't have that.

I settled on a dark blond, with the hope that it would deepen and tone the white hair, neutralize the reds and blend in with the light auburn. I hereby formally thank every saint in every religion there has ever been; I'll even kiss the icons, sacrifice a goat and eat the cardboard bread. My hair came out looking exactly how I wanted it. Well, it's still a little redder than I'd prefer it to be, but in the sun it's actually pretty blond. It's quite amazing, in retrospect. I went to my interview with actual confidence, and I walked out of it feeling calm and calculative. As a side note, I'm performing every interview with 3 hours sleep. I rocked.

Crisis averted. What to do next? Eat Chinese, of course. I went to the buffet after purchasing 'The Tropic of Capricorn' from the classical section of Elm's used book store. I sat near two cute guys, both at single tables, with books in front of them from the same store. We ended up in a three way [get your mind out of the gutter] conversation about how we had averted books in high school, and found them irresistible in adulthood. As I left, for the first time in my life a boy that flirted with me actually followed through. He asked me out and gave me his number.

The funny thing is that I think it was because of my hair. Maybe I'm just crazy.

You love me so much more right now, don't you?!


I ♥ The Hippo

Hippo Press is the foremost freebie newspaper for the Manchester and Nashua area, as well as most New Hampshire towns. Katie is a fan. It is generally around 60 pages long, packed with funny and informative stuff, and did you hear me...it's free. It makes me feel more connected to my sometimes unlovable city because the writers actually discuss the issues that affect us on a daily basis, like the state of our parks and roads, instead of the ones at stake for local politicians.

This Hippo-------------------------------------------------------------------->Not this Hippo.

Like the big hysteria started by our Union Leader about stiffening the drinking licenses on local bars and making every frigging place smoke free. I mean, our state is officially red now, isn't it?! I didn't wake up amongst hush-hush but aggressive Conservatives, did I?! Did I?!

As for the big bad U.L., it kind of has a monopoly on the big news of the day. But we can catch those types of stories on the televised news, and heck, the internet these days. Most of what is seen on that thin paper is usually just a reiteration of what we've already found out at 6am when we're done checking our emails and channel surfing.

But, really, The Hippo is a weekly newsreel that mostly focuses on who's doing what during the weekend? and how do we feel about our city?

I decided to give you some excerpts from two of the latest issues of the Hippo, to further prove why I'm such a fan.

[[from the New of the Weird section]]

My Official Nickname, From This Day Forward.
Kevin Russell, 21, was arrested in Hobart, Ind., in February when he went to a chase bank and tried to cash a Bank One check for $50,000. The check was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

Draw Me A Time Machine, So I Can Come Back And Kick Your Ass.
Traditional Chinese celebrations have been mentioned several times in News of the Weird, including the annual Tomb Sweeping Festival in April, which calls on people to visit relatives' graves and leave offerings that will improve the afterlives of the deceased. Actual objects (such as jewelry and money) are no longer required, as paper representations are considered just as effective. This year, according to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, paper illustrations of dancing girls will adorn many graves, along with paper "Viagra" pills, and even more questionably, paper renditions of condoms.

This Puts A Whole New Ring To The Word "Concubine".
According to a Beijing Youth daily report distributed by Reuters News Service in February, an unidentified Chinese businessman posted an online job offer for a "substitute" mistress. That is, in order to save his marriage, he had agreed to allow his wife to beat up his mistress and thus needed a stand-in to absorb the whipping, to spare the real mistress. He offered equivilent of about 400$ per minute of pain.

[[from the Quality of Life Survey section]]

Four Seasons? Try Forty.
After about 16 hours of constant dripping and splashing and pelting of water and sleet, you think there must be an end in sight, but you wake up with statewide flood warnings and wind gusts that sound like the high-powered drying in the drive-thru car wash. You step outside and within five minutes it rains on you, and then ices on you. You start wondering how much of your back yard will drown, and if the yard is floating away, how are the farms and beaches holding up? And then you see the worms floating in puddles between ice floes in your driveway and you think, ewwwwww. Also, ice and worms? That's like having wrinkles and acne simultaneously... and although it does happen, it's just not fair.

The thrill of it all.

The concert is over and Katie has mixed reviews. There is, as usual, good news and bad news.
Which would you like me to hit you with first? I thought so...


I have a list of songs that I've created, mostly in my head, but also on Myspace. It consists of all the songs I've desired to hear live *solo, especially* since I've been a fan of Dave. Here is the set list from last night, I've highlighted the songs that have been wonderfully knocked of my top 20 list.


12. OH #17
13. SAVE ME #6
19. WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME (partial song, so it doesn't technically count)
23. #41


Basically, the concert itself was beautiful. It was Dave, solo, for the first time I've been able to witness it. There were some songs I'd already heard live and some I didn't care to hear. Mostly, it was a beautiful set.

To add to it, Dave gave long, adorable monologues about his opinion on the hideous sounds he makes during laughter... farting in public and being stuck in a bathtub while his dog gave a gas storm... that he wasn't responsible for anything he said because he had a fever. He stopped a few times and appeared to feel himself up, while explaining that he was looking for his cell phone and that he never turned it on anyways... but he still needs it for emergencies, like if a relative was stuck in a car submerged in a lake and called his disabled phone for help. He re-established that he was afflicted with a fever.

He picked on the boys that scream and howl at him, while explaining to the girls that it was 'pent up caveman-like emotion' and we should forgive them because it's actually 'quite sweet when you think about it'.

The seat I had wasn't the greatest. It wasn't the worst in the house, but Dave face wasn't visible at all. Half of the fun of the show *for Katie, anyways* is watching him sing. But the security was extremely lax and seemed mostly student employed, so toward the end of it I was successfully able to infiltrate the "good seats" and watch him from an incredible angle.

This is where the good news ends.


I brought just enough money to stay in a motel room overnight.

That's all, that's it. Good deal, right? Wrong. The money I brought for the motel was all the money I had, period. I had made some heavy food items, but I was still hungry and antsy. I knew I was going to be flat broke when I got home.

The motel manager had told me the latest I could check in was 10 or 11pm, but I arrived in Amherst at about 20 minutes to 8. My concert was at 8. There was no way that I was going to be able to reserve my room and be back at the show before it was half over. Even with a map, I only had a general idea of where the motel was, because Umass Amherst is huge. I've seen some towns in New Hampshire the size of that campus. I got lost several times while asking students directions and was still late for the concert.

The show got out at midnight. I hadn't checked into the motel and therefor had no place to stay. It was unseasonably warm out and the school was highly populated, so I decided that it was an okay plan B to stay up all night there. I mean, it was sort of like getting paid to stay awake and it didn't seem like the worst conditions to do it in. It was Saturday night, a time of parties and whatnot, so I wasn't alone and it wasn't like I've never stayed awake before. I worked a third shift job just last year.

By about 1:30am, the temperature started to drop and by 2 it couldn't have been more than 20 degrees outside. I could see my breath.

The 6 hour trip had worn me down-- I was tired and absolutely frozen.

I decided to maybe try to find a flippin' Denny's or something. I mean, Amherst is supposed to be a city, and even trash towns have some kind of fast food all-night eateries. Not Amherst. I finally ended up in a 24-hour ATM room and I slept off and on for about 3 or so hours. I was paranoid that a cop would see me and kick me out like some street person. It was bright and eerie, occasionally a passerbyer knocked on the window to make sure I was alive. I was officially a hobo.

It took me the entire next day to get the frozen feeling out of my bones. I slept uncomfortably on most of the trip back and ate crappy fast food at the stops like a wild dog. My head was spinning from the memory of the previous night. It was scary for me; not the part about being mostly alone and awake in a foreign place, but the feeling that I really was homeless. If I'm not careful, I could end up in that situation. It hit home.

I've had the fear put in me. I'm going to find a job, now, even if it's a crap job. I'm going to seek all the assistance that I can, no matter how degrading it feels. Even if I have to work at Mcdonalds and watch the 'Rent Assistance' counselor count every penny I earn. I only have a couple months before I'm supposed to be at Anthem, so it's just about getting through until then.

The concert was good, but being a hobo wasn't a positive feeling. Maybe it had positive implications, anyways.


Wish me a good-good time!

I'm off to my little trip to Amherst in about an hour.

I'll let you know what disaster might have occurred before, after or during.

For now, I'm optimistic.



You've probably heard of Hotels.com, Travelocity.com and Priceline.com, but have you had a chance to check out this Hotel Reservations site? It's got a lot to offer. This is coming from the trusted voice of Katie, and Katie always knows.

So, please, my little children, sit and have a listen. I have a story to tell you.

I'm on way to Amherst, Massachusetts tomorrow for my concert, and I'm going to be stuck there overnight. I searched on every website I could think of to get a cheap room, and there was next to nothing affordable. Finally, I found a place in a directory and called a suitable place myself. No website used.

To my dismay, I find that HotelReservations.com has a wealth of hotels in the area that I could have chosen, had I only known about the website. They have tools that the other popular sites don't have, like special internet rates that beat out the competition, a 100 dollar rebate special for booking and even a detailed city guide. I'm totally bumming on my loss.

I noticed that this website isn't limited to just hotels. No, sir. You can choose to book flights, cars, vacation rentals or entire vacation packages. For instance, you may be looking for a flight and hotel for 5 days and 5 nights next month in the beautiful city of London. You can spend as low as 913$ to stay at the Strand Palace. Did you hear me? You could stay at a palace for under a grand, for 5 nights! I'm sold.

Or if you're looking for just the flight and car because you're secret Irish lover has a place for you to stay, think about HotelReservations.com for it. You're look at paying only 794$ for the trip. I've been talking to an adorable Dublin boy named Henry, and this is making me consider hopping on a flight to meet his sexy bottom.

Check out the website, it is impressive.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


All things very white that are NOT Katie.


"Katie dear you're as pasty white as a bottle of Elmer's glue. I don't think you'd make the cut here...."

And you call yourself a friend!



*to clarify, the whiteness of Jessica is in her teeth.
Somebody get that girl a coffee and a carton of cigarettes! Stat!



By the way...

I'm using Google Adsense, so if you want to lend Katie a hand, play around with the search engine! I could love very much!

I might even let this kid kiss you!

Personal Home Loan Morgages

I've witnessed the undoing of a few folks that went at it alone on mortgage loans. There are too many opportunities to choose from, and no streamline of what is good and what is bad. If the gal or lad taking out the loan isn't educated on how interest rates work, the importance of the down payment and the type of lenders that are out there- they could be easy prey. How many times have people been given a bad deal because they went with the first offer they got?

Are there trained professionals who help handle these types of decisions, and can point a good fellow in the right direction? Is there somebody out there that can educate and help choose the best mortgage for an individual?

Mortgage Brokers, that's who. They can give you the current daily average of mortgage rates throughout the country. Mortgage brokers, specifically the brokers at Colorado Mortgages have tools that let you research local housing trends and market statistics. They even have the ability to help you leverage your home equity to pay off other debts, once you have bought a house, of course.

If you're anything like me and considering moving to the Boston area, these brokers are the guys for you. They can distinguish if the big city is best, or a smaller city around the metro area might be more fitting. There are 15 locations in the state full of professionals looking to talk to you.

Or maybe you really have the urge to sing "Rocky Mountain High" from the roof of your house. The best place to do that? Well, there's nowhere better than Colorado for such a bold act. If you agree, I advise for you to click this link and talk to the professionals in the rockin' state of Colorado.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


My Reaction To The Virginia Tech. Massacre.

In my poor poorness, I've been plagued with a case of the non-cable. I didn't know anything about the Virginia Tech shooting until I happened upon it on a news site. I was, of course, horrified to tears.

I remember Columbine. I think those who were in high school at the time will always remember it. Not just because of the horror of it, but because of how it came to literally effect us. There were speeches, hand outs and fire drills on a nearly constant basis. For the following 6 or so months, the "Trench Coat Mafia" and "Those Crazy Kids In Colorado" became a part of our regular vocabulary. There was good old American finger pointing and over reaction. Then the topic entirely disappeared. That bothered me.

This brings us up to 2007, almost seven years ago to the day. It's been pretty quiet in the world of school shootings, so it seems that the country has had it's guard down. No more scary fire drills twice a week and no more extra security measures.

Suddenly, this kid at Virginia Tech brings it all bubbling back to the surface.

What bothers me is that there were two shootings, with enough time to grill and release a suspect. There was no evacuation, no worry. They actually decided to warn people via the internet. Now, I spend a lot of time online, but it still took me a day to uncover this information and it was everywhere. It's already got its own Wikipedia page. It just wasn't enough to stick to emails, since it obviously didn't do any good.

Could some of the carnage have been prevented had Columbine been six months ago? Is security only tightened when it's directly related to a current event? What does it take to feel safe from the possibility of getting murdered in a classroom, high school or otherwise?

The two most prevalent examples didn't occur in a ghetto, they occurred in suburbia. Shouldn't this show that nobody is safe, and that the worst case scenario should always at least be considered? I'm not saying that there should be a Patriot Act for the school system, just that these schools have made clear mistakes that should not be repeated.

I'm sure that Virginia Tech is going to be scrutinized, and it isn't alone. I guarantee that he could have accomplished his task at any school in the country. The question is, does it have to take the worst mass murder in American history to take the necessary precautions, all the time?

Until today, I was unsure about my take on gun control. I am official for it.

Katie's Top 5 : Aqua Teen Hunger Force Edition

For those of you that don't have cable or the good taste to watch Cartoon Network, here is Katie's introduction to the hilarious ATHF. Enjoy. It's meaty.





Dear Katherine:

Thank you for your interest and the time you spent discussing the position of Customer Service Center Representative in the Customer Service Call Center.

Your background and qualifications have been carefully reviewed. Having completed the review and the interview process, I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected to remain in our active candidate pool and will be considered for future openings.

Again, thank you for your interest in PSNH and we hope to be contacting you soon.

I've been waiting for the contacting you soon part of this deal for about a week. I was overly optimistic about this email when it first opened, and after a week of waiting, it's made me a lot more pessimistic. Before I interviewed, the Human Resources lady told me that I had to be 'chosen for the pool' in order to get the job.

I've been chosen for the pool. Woo hoo, and all that. The problem is that every minute that passes without word is another minute of my brain cells destroyed in angsty worry. I need this job, but not only that, I want this job. It's Katie's golden egg, her saving grace... the possibility of a life. On top of my issues of the moment, this 'pool' thing might be weighing on me heaviest of all.

I mean, I'm trying to be more positive about it, and to not think about it in general. Got any advice?


Lately, I've been thinking about moving. Manchester, NH has become more exhausting and unsubstantial to me by the day. I'm thinking, if Manchvegas doesn't work out for me, maybe the actual Vegas will! I had a co-worker at one of my temp jobs who applied and was hired to work in a huge casino, and if she could do it, why can't I?

I've been reading up, and it seems that the big LV has so much more to offer than the little NH of my current residency. There are places to snow ski and water ski. Whodathunk?! There's hiking and golf, and of course, plenty of sand to throw around at the tourists (once you're an official Vegasite). It seems that there are jobs by the ton, and like my current city, no income tax. Maybe that's the real connection that bridges Manchester to Vegas? Maybe it's the legal buying of usually illegal services? The buffets?

Sure, I'd likely be joining Gamblers Anonymous within a month and a half of residence, because I'd be spending every paycheck at the Craps tables. But there is always that wonderful catch phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!". So if I screw up, the only person that would have to know is me, right?!

Anyways, if I will seriously consider moving to the infamous City of Sin, I will seriously use Las Vegas real estate to sell me a rockin' house in the area. Their website is impressive, with a telling review from the highly reliable newspaper USA Today:

"Most agents who show you homes don’t represent your interests. They work for the builder or seller, and their object is to sell the house at the highest possible price."

In closing, I think that if you are considering a move to the bright lights of Vegas, you should consider using these real estate guys to check out the local homes. They look pretty dependable to Katie, and Katie has a good eye for such stuff.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


It's made of sweets and joy. And joyness.

My official WTF video of the day.

Does anyone else find themselves dancing uncontrollably to the weird letter music? I think I might still be jigging a little.

Secure Insurance

Home Owner Insurance Quotes

Residents of Arizona and Nevada need home insurance more than anyone else. Why, you ask? Well, Katie will tell you. Sit your dusty desert fanny down and have a little listen, will ya?

And stop questioning your elders. It's disrespectful.

What does house insurance cover that would relate to these two states specifically, you ask?

Didn't I tell you to sit down?! SIT. And listen like a good little cactus.

Why, in the event of a fire, home insurance would be most helpful. With the dry heat of the desert region, those two states would be extremely susceptible to el fuego de homo.

That's not Spanish for house on fire? Well, it is now.

**The point is, my loyal readers of Arizona and Nevada residency needs to check out this website if they want their homes safely covered in the case of this likely occurrence**

Home Owner Insurance Quotes

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


Rehabilitation at Stone Hawk.

We've all had our addictions, whether they be minor or life threatening. Imagine one of your little addictions, say to chocolate bunnies or impulse clothes shopping, and multiply that by a billion. Personally, it's difficult for me to imagine the nerve that it would take to admit the problem and to overcome it.

Stone Hawk Rehabilitation Center in south central Michigan is a place where those with dependencies on alcohol, narcotics or otherwise can naturally turn around their lives. The facility uses natural supplementation to help eliminate the dependency without the use of psychiatric intervention. It is a place where people are helping people, without a doctor breathing heavily over their shoulders, sitting in their cushy lives, judging them.

narconon explains:

"Stone Hawk clients are not considered to be patients. We instead refer to them as students, since they are simply learning to take back control of their lives without drug abuse or alcoholism. This distinction is made because a Stone Hawk addiction treatment student is there to learn about what it takes to be free of drug addiction and alcoholism; not to be treated for a disease or an illness. The student will learn about substance abuse, and how to move on with life without it. In essence, students are taught new skills for living life."

If there is anyone in your life who has an addiction, refer them to this clinic as a possible alternative. The typical program may take between four to six months and it is not a place where they feel 'commited'. It's about recovering on their own terms, with people that understand what they're going through.

* I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


DISCLAIMER: This is a rant.

With 'Simpsons' visuals.
Like a bitter children's book!

Leaving U.S. Cellular is really a blessing in disguise. They let me go, and in the most pathetic way humanly possible.

Yet a week or so ago, one of my bosses informed me that he was going to hire me. I was flattered by the news, but not falling over myself with it. He had announced this in front of a co-worker, who didn't look enthused about the idea.

My theory? She heard what my boss said as they'll hire her and she might be yet another Sales Rep. and I'll make less money. In her infinitely selfish agenda, she began to conspire against me. Why? Because less money for her means less Coach bags and Gloria Jean iced coffees from the mall.

On Saturday, April 7th, at 10am, the more powerful of my two managers called me over to his office in a "By the way, just got a little something to say to ya!" kind of way. Winning the award for MOST NON CHALANT FIRING EVER, he stated, in strained upbeat-ish speech "Uhhh... the company decided to go with another temp agency."

"So that's it?" I asked in utter confusion. He replied with eyes glued to the carpet, that it was, in fact, it.

This is the sexier version of what I looked like.

To put it lightly, my eyes became the water faucets from hell. All of the temp jobs that let me go in the past marched through my brain at that very moment, and became one long train of emotion. And like the children-men that they were, they proceeded to weave their lie to me further.

"Our hands are tied. It was a company decision."
"We can't hire anyone right now."
"It's nothing you did. We won't give you a bad reference."

I hadn't paid one red cent on April's rent. I had my concert in two weeks. I hadn't had cable in months and my electricity was looking to be severed very shorty. It wasn't a pretty picture set in front of me.

I went home, found out that I was brewing up a case of Tonsillitis, and spent the rest of the weekend drowning in television and sleep. By Monday, I was nervous but ready to speak to Kelly and pray they had another temp job, despite my hatred for the work.

Kelly Services hadn't been given the news that I'd be let go, so they called my boss to hear what they had to say about it. My manager actually said that I'd MISUNDERSTOOD THEM and that they'd decided to go in another direction because of a PERSONALITY CONFLICT.

Everything they told me that day was a lie. What I wonder is, did they really expect me to tell Kelly Services nothing of their speech? I'm assuming they didn't care because it's one scorned temp versus the company Kelly needs as a client.

I would have had some respect for them if they had told me the truth.

In the end, I'm not going to miss haggling for them to train me, or feeling the angst of liking them but sort of not liking them. It just seems unfair that they let me go because of a supposed problem with one of the employees. I mean, that little hole of a place is just full of personality conflicts way beyond what I posed.

This could quite literally be "C's" Simpson twin. "C" s old people.

"C" has a way with people, and it isn't always a good way. She has this falsetto voice that she uses on everyone, employees and customers alike, which can make them feel like they're unbelievably stupid and have some kind of hearing impairment. This frustrates my former co-workers more so than customers, because a big chunk of the customers are stupid and deaf.

When she's supposed to be teaching, she can't help but take the wheel and drive without actually explaining what she's doing. "C" is known as the woman who single handedly pushed a co-worker to stark raving mad status- a woman named Debbie that transferred to another store with barely her limbs intact.

She's infamous as the 'sales stealer', jumping on every customer that walks through the door like a tiger to it's prey.


"K" is the biggest finger pointer on the planet, next to the 4 year old I used to babysit. And to be a finger pointer, you generally should have all your ducks in a row. But not "K". She's the kind of vapid blond who acts like all customers should come to her and kiss her feet. Whenever she's asked to help out in any way, it's like she's Atlas, holding the world on her shoulders. She has no idea what responsibility or hard work actually is, doing everything she can to escape it.

She's kind of the 'Gabrielle Solice' of that 'Wisteria Lane', with a little bit of 'Edie' mixed in.

"D" personified.

"D" might be one of the biggest complainers I've met in quite some time, next to me, of course. The most commonly uttered words from his mouth? I need to quit smoking. I need to lose weight. My wife is insane. My life sucks. Waah. Waah. Waah.

He airs his dirty marriage laundry around, in one example literally yelling at his wife on the phone just outside of customer viewing range - but not outside of hearing range. He's moody and not unlike "K", avoids his primary job, helping people, at all times.

This is the story of a backwoods hick
who wished she was a very lovely girl.

"E" completely freaks out at any time that she has to do something by herself, and in retrospect, at anything even mildly stressful. She needs constant back patting, and can't grasp even the simplest concepts.

She's odd, and has taken a step even beyond the un-professionalism active in the store by bringing in and showing off a Playboy mag like a horny teenage boy. That's right, kids, Playboy. Meaning, the kind with naked girls. Did I mention she's heavily involved in a relationship with a guy? To each his own... but... it's still not appropriate to flaunt around work.

"E" has very little femininity whatsoever. She's sloppy, a little dirty, has no clue what makeup is, and is more involved in things like NASCAR to be anything but a guy with boobs. Yet every time "K" comes around, she starts whining about how she broke her nail or how crowded the mall was the one time in her life she'd seen it. It's damn near retarded.

But, ah, such is the life of a temp, right?

I still have the two jobs on the horizon, with a recently huge step in the positive for PSNH. I have another temp job lined up with higher pay, so I can't be that bitter. But in the end, what U.S. Cellular did was wrong. The fact that they'll probably get away with it is sad.

Rant concluded. Feel free to move about the cabin.


Payday Cash Loans

If you're anything like me, the time between pay days can feel like a million miles away.

Especially when there's a cable guy standing outside of your door with a meniacle smile and the ability to shut down your sanity tube. Or maybe, for example, you fell down a flight of stairs while in the midst of stalking your latest victim and the medical bills are starting to pile up because of it. You need money, and you need it fast.

Emily Ferreira of Maryland Cash Advance explains:

"Payday loans are a good option for people in need of money
before payday especially in the case of emergencies such as
medical expenses, car repairs, or important one-time payments."

For my readers in Arizona, I recommend for you to visit www.paydaycashadvanceloans.biz/arizona/arizona_payday_loans.asp

Those of you who are neighbors of my family in Maryland, please click away at http://www.paydaycashadvanceloans.biz/maryland/maryland_payday_loans.asp

If you find yourself in any of the above or beyond situations, and need sweet moola in between your checks, I recommend for you to check out Maryland Cash Advance. It's stress free, which is exactly what you need when you have no cable and are without the ability to be an effective predator.

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


11 Years Old. Bianca Ryan. America's Got Talent. Seriously. Effing. Wow.

I should explain how I came across this video on Youtube.

I was searching for Sanjaya videos.

I don't have cable right now and I've heard one too many times how that "SMELLY BASTARD" "SANJAYA THE VAGINA" "IS THE UNHOLY COMBINATION OF MICHAEL JACKSON / WILLIAM HUNG" and I had to see what all the ruckus was about.

I guess a group of people are voting for him on American Idol despite his lack of talent, or because of his lack of talent. And as a side note, I don't think Va-J-J is the worst singer ever, but he certainly doesn't belong in a singing competition. He has a nice voice, but he has no idea how to use it on a stage.

Anyways, I was searching for vids of this guy, and every other title was "CHECK OUT THIS FRIGGING KID" and "AMAZING LITTLE SINGER" and "HOLY SHIT CHILD". So, I yelled at the screen, in exhaustion "Fine! But this better be good."

It was the above video, and worth all the annoyance. I actually teared up while watching it.

I love the audacity of the Simon Cowell gripe-alike. Bianca could have dressed like, well, Sanjaya during the entire competition and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference.

I feel bad for the other people on the show, even if they had half her talent, they were screwed. It's almost unfair.

Secure Loan Consolidation

My gal pal, Diane, had over 30,000$ worth of credit card debt. She would cry to me about it once in awhile and I admit that I was a little judgey. I felt that even a few thousand dollars worth of plastic debt was over the top. But thirty thou?! Wow.

I haven't been the best judge of spending character, considering my own impulsiveness. I'd probably be that much indebted if some company would give me some sweet moola credit.

Then I read a reliable source that stated in 2002, the average household owed at least 8,000$ in credit card debt alone. Another big wow.

Her solution? She went with a consolidation loan, and after a year or so she'd cleared out all of her major accounts. I think that anyone with credit card debt of any ridiculous amount should consider this option. It took her a short time of working super hard, but now she walk in the world without that terrible weight on her shoulders.

If you can relate with this, I recommend the following.

Colorado Credit Card Debt

New Jersey garden folks can click on http://www.secureloanconsolidation.com/credit_card_debt/new_jersey/new_jersey.asp

*I am being paid for this particular post through Payperpost.com


Top 5 WTFs

I've been trying on the NEXTBLOG option for size, and have found some of the pages worth linking. Every once in awhile, I'm going to post my NEXTBLOG TOP 5.

And the top WTF honors go to....

[[It's like a COW BONANZA]]
[[This is where COWS come to DIE]]

[[The blog is titled]] [[What about me?]]
[[I'm only kind of sure about that]]
[[But I ask, sincerely]] [[What about WTF??]]

[[The whole blog is themed about]]
[[thinking]] [[thoughts]] [[brainwaves]]
[[There's a reason why it never mentions articulate thoughts]]

[[ not surprised by the 0 comments on all posts]]
[[If you get a chance, leave the cuckoo lady some comment love]]
[[albeit comment pity]]

[[ Mmm]]
[[The power of conspiracy crazed loons]]

I have people skills.


If I interview with PSNH one more time, I may have an aneurysm. Right there, mid sentence, bye-bye Katherine Marie.

I've always felt that I'm good at selling stuff, but I'm not such a natural at selling myself. An hour long conversation about me should come pretty naturally, considering that I could blog about Katie for weeks on end without sleeping or pooping. I mean, there's so much to say, because I am that AWESOME.

Yet, I jumbled my words and questioned all of my replies whilst speaking. My colon was sweating, my heart was in places it didn't belong, and I probably looked like I was staring at human guillotines.

PICTURE THIS: I was in a closet sized room, with 90% of it encompassed by table, with two pairs of eyes staring at me with varying expressions of fatigue and fear. I was being grilled by..... THE BOBS. It was the second time in my life that I'd found myself in that situation, and I was feeling it. If there had been a window in that unpadded cell, I would've contemplated the possibility of human flight.

For those of you *Sourpatch* who don't relate to {cult classic} cinematic references, THE BOBS are from one of the greatest films of all time - OFFICE SPACE.

They were men hired by the company to "trim the fat" or, in other words, dole out the layoffs. The current employees were essentially interviewing for their jobs and mostly became blabbering sell-out misfits in the process.

Bob Type A

Both of my "BOBS" were of the female variety, but the conversational tone is what drives me to their nicknames. While all of the questions were repeated from the previous conference, I felt an intense pressure from this particular interviewer, much like the BOB pictured.

I have titled the above mentioned person as BOB TYPE A. She came off as that typical personality type; an overachieving control freak, easily irritated and time-conscious, a stern and sometimes hostile look on her face, and the kind of person that is hardest to really read.

She was one of the duo that I'd interviewed with a few months ago for a single part-time position that was handed out to another candidate. She remembered me immediately, but with a tone that said This is just a formality. I already know whether or not I like you, and I'm pretty sure that I don't. You suck.

BOB TYPE A dominated the questions, pushing me through them in a way that almost made me feel more uncomfortable.

The only thing I can say positively about this
BOB is that my assumptions could be completely wrong. She could have liked me, and perhaps didn't need to watch the movie all over again. Maybe she just wanted to fast forward through some of the less memorable scenes.

But I doubt it. I think if it's up to her, the only "pool" I'm getting into will require a bathing suit and a good thorough shave.

Bob Type B

This is the BOB who might just save my ass.

Sometimes, when I meet a certain kind of adult, I feel like they get me. Or at least they think that they get me. When I talk to them, they respond with a touch of enthusiasm and actual belief in my words. People in the past that have fit this category are usually teacher or counselor types. This Bob was one of them.

She was the relaxed and observing opposite of BOB TYPE A. When she asked me the few questions that she chimed in for, it seemed like she genuinely cared about what my answer was. While I know that BOB TYPE B will not be a dominating factor in the final decision, I'm hoping that she'll be the pull in my direction that I need.

When BOB TYPE B walked me out of the building, she said "We'll be talking to you soon!". I'm not sure if it was a slip of words, or a positive implication. Of course, I pray that it's the latter.

*I'll wait out the coming weeks in constant vigil of my phone*
*We'll see if my analysis was over dramatic or right on target*