I've been seeing yet another emotionally unavailable man and I feel stuck. If I move forward with this, assuming that I will have the ability to do so, I'm going to get hurt.

How do I break it off, when it's not what I want to do?
How can I be in a relationship that has no future?

I'm already budding feelings for him, despite his impression that I won't. I want to stick him in a time capsule and make every day exactly like the last. The moments that I've had with him have been beautiful, unforgettable, simple. Everything about him, every part of him, feels good to me... feels right to me. Despite the logicality to end it, I don't think I can.

So, I suppose, that when I inevitably get burned, I don't have anyone to blame but myself. He's been upfront and honest about where he stands, and as much as I wish the situation were different... it's not going to be. The truth stands that he will probably never love me. It's a reality I've had to face before becoming completely emotionally involved and I feel insane for wanting him.

But I do want him.


*UPDATE*

Last night, I sent him a couple long-winded text messages explaining that I didn't want to see him anymore. I was fully expecting an unenthused okay in response, but in this case, nada.

Of course, I do want to see him again. I want to see him a thousand times more, but it's not going to happen without the consequence of Katie getting very hurt.

I'm making the prediction true that 'I'll never love him' by not allowing myself to love him, by finding someone else.

I've been in too many bad situations that I was partly responsible for.

Wwes, Ben, Brandon...

I could have nipped those traumas in the bud.

I have to do now what I haven't been able to in the past.
I need to be a stronger Katie.

*ANOTHER EVEN MORE DEPRESSING UPDATE*

He finally responded to my texts with an unsurprising yet completely shitty answer of "I think you're right. It's best to be logical."

Oh, fuck.

At least these are all the tears I'm ever going to shed over him.

At least I can be thankful for that.

*WAY LESS DEPRESSING UPDATE*

I'm so over it.
Bring on the new man meat!