Six senses feeling, Five around a sense of self.

I was recently invited by a co-worker, Sarah, to join her bowling with a group of her close friends. I normally don't entertain that kind of invitation because I have a specific group of my own friends at work and that has been quite enough for me. However, since my cubicle moved I have gotten to know another small group of people and have branched out a little bit. I like Sarah and I haven't been "out" in awhile, so I thought it would be good for me. I had fun, but there was some awkwardness and a few slights that have been bothering the heck out of me.

Initially, I was picked with two of her male friends in the front seat of an SUV with Sarah & I in the back. It was quite obvious from the get go that these two guys were in a bro-mance. They had that rare guy-on-guy relationship which is impossible to understand or infiltrate. God help the women who eventually end up with those two, that's all I can say.

But I digress. We went to T.G.I. Friday's for dinner, met by one of Sarah's female friends. She was nice, a little quirky, but all over the place. She reminded me of a friend I had in high school {Katie- who I have seen a couple times after graduation and since then has completely snubbed me}. When we all sat down, I was in the aisle between Sarah and one of the guy friends.

The guy who sat next to me, not by my personal choice but by a sort of musical chair scenario, was not happy with the situation. He immediately positioned his chair as close to the wall and as far away from me as humanly possible. The person sitting on the other side of him was his love-buddy, who he was literally on top of. The friend continually told him to move over, but he would utter things like "I can't face the wall!".

I'm an observer so it was pretty easy to see what was going on.

It would have been less obvious if he had 'NO FAT CHICKS' printed on his Red Sox jersey. I always find it comical when men my age think that I am automatically going to want a ride on their love train. 

It's just like when homophobes meet an openly gay man- they get it in their heads that the gay man is just going to drop on all fours for them just because they have a hankering for the Y chromosome. It's like they think that just because I am overweight, that I don't have my own preference. There's no way a fat girl could possibly want to have common interests and an actual physical attraction to a man. 

It definitely didn't help that this dude was a meathead. Total JOE SIX PACK. I could read him like a book. He desires a skinny girl that his friends will bust his balls about- a trophy girlfriend. Someone well above what his own standards should rationally be. He wants someone who will go to baseball and football and hockey games with him, who will scream expletives at the players and slop beer all over her ample bosoms. He absolutely does NOT want an overweight English major who spends most of her free time reading literature and dabbling in the arts. He does NOT want a female who is marginally smarter than him, who has been around the bend with a man even smarter than her, and who will not stand for any bullshit.

I could look at him and see what he will be in ten short years. Balding with a larger waistline than mine, due to his extreme love of fatty foods and starchy beers.

He had made some side comment about a fat guy who did not want to hang out with them, and about his laziness to lose the weight. As a direct result of that comment {which was quickly silenced by the realization that a tubby girl was on board} I will get immense pleasure when I see run into him someplace down the road. Even then, he will likely have his same meathead views but slightly modified to fit his own situation. But funnier still was the reality of my feelings towards his "type". He could not have made a sillier attempt to say "NO WAY LADY" without realizing it was completely unnecessary. The moment he opened his yaw, I felt I would rather die a slow and painful death than date someone like him.

I mean, a cartoon like Family Guy may give some meatheads the idea that they can ask for standards in a woman that they shouldn't fulfill for themselves.

But don't make me feel like a lesser person because I'm not the girl of your deluded dreams.

And that's the end of my rant.